I Live In Korea

My name is Ben Gwynne. I USED to teach English in Incheon, South Korea. Here's some photos, stories, videos, etc.

It's rare if a week goes by where I don't have a bunch of things given to me or many things drawn or written about me. Kids will just put something on my desk, draw a picture and show it to me, write on the board before I come to class, etc. Some things are very unflattering and some are very kind (repeated "I love you" comments).


Either way, here's a collection of some of my favorites. Props to Julie London for this all time classic track.

…try and stick their fingers up my butt. Yes…Really…Everyday…Multiple times.

I mentioned weird obsessions they have in another post, but this one takes the cake.

A day rarely goes by when someone doesn’t try to poke me in the butt from behind when I’m not looking. It’s a “practical joke” and basically the Asian version of the wedgie. The name for it in Korea is "ddong chim." Ddong chim is translated to mean “poop needle,” and that’s what the kids say when they try it. “DDONG CHIM!!” (finger flies in from behind) Remember when I told you they like to draw pictures of ddong (poop)? Well, this is a lot worse and weirder than that.

I’m sure this is confusing to you, and you’re probably asking yourself “Ben, why don’t you tell the kids to stop?” Well, I have two options: 1. laugh it off and smack their hand away 2. Make a big stink about it, drag one of the kids into the principals office, have them get screamed at and have their parents are notified. The kid will now hate me, probably get hit by his parents and won’t listen to me for a while. The principal will then tell the Korean teachers to make sure no one does ddong chim anymore, and with that I’m officially a 27 year old baby. All the kids will make fun of me behind my back, actually they will say it right to my face in Korean, “Ben teacher ruined ddong chim” or “Ben teacher got ______ student in trouble and he told the principal, what a baby.” I’ll take #1.

I catch students 90% of the time before they do it anyway. When they do manage to pull it off, I give them a gentle shot to the arm, a light tap over the head with my book, or just say “today, test” and listen to them scream and say sorry. It’s just enough to hopefully make them realize not to do it anymore, but not enough to strike fear into them.

So, how do they manage to do this? It usually happens when I’m at the copy machine, or for the younger classes (who are hyper and move around sometimes due to being on lockdown at their elementary school) when I am at the board and my back is facing them.

There’s 4 common ways the students try and stick their finger up my butt…


1. Put both hands together like you’re clapping, fold in your pinky, ring and middle finger, you will now have a shape like a gun. Insert finger.

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2. Put both hands together like you're clapping. Insert hand.

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3. Hold both hands in the air with your fingers facing forward. Make sure they are parallel to each other but a few inches apart, and make a motion like you would to warm your hands up.

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4. Stand next to someone, turn your head and look like you’re having a conversation with them, reach around and stick your index finger in.


When I say it’s popular here, I mean, all the kids do it around the country. They really think it’s the funniest thing in the world, and, there’s also statues dedicated to it. Check it out…


Two choice quotes on the matter from the always reliable Wikipedia…

“While the practice is known in South Korea, there have been cases where adults performing it have been arrested.”

“In February 2006, Nanmon Kaiketsu (Solving Difficult Problems), an NHK TV show about social problems, speculated that the long-term leniency of Kancho (the Japanese name for ddong chim) is an indirect cause of the rampant train gropings across Japan.”

I’m going to Tokyo for a weekend in May, and if someone does it to me in public, well, I might end up back in the US before my contract is over. Handcuffs and all.

1. Kindergarten is not mandatory, therefore if a student goes to one they are private schools

2. Kindergarten is for kids aged 5-7

3. Elementary school students go to school for only about 5 hours a day

4. Although elementary school doesn’t have long hours, a high number of students go to “academies” after school (like the one I teach at). There are Math, English, Science academies, but if a student goes to piano lessons daily they call that an academy as well.

5. Some parents (like my principal) send their kids to a number of “academies.” My prinicipal’s son goes to SEVEN: English, Math, Science, Essay Writing, Piano, ‘All Subjects,’ and Chinese Calligraphy. The total cost for this is $1,700 per month. His hours are generally 7:30am-10pm and on Saturdays he has about 5 hours worth of school. I’m not kidding. What a tough life.

6. English is required to be taught in elementary schools from the age of 10

7. It’s not out of the ordinary for students to be physically punished if they act up or don’t do homework.

8. Students go to their public schools on the weekends too. However, they only have it on Saturdays every other week, and it’s only half of a day.

9. The majority of middle schools (for students age 13-15) have strict uniform and hair cutting policies

10. Elementary schools have about 30 kids in each class

11. Middle schools have about 40 kids in each class. That’s a lot of students.

12. The students do not go from class to class, they stay in the same class in their seats and the teachers switch rooms

13. There’s a breast pocket on the middle school students’ uniforms where they put a flap which has their name on it. Yes, there are basically nametags for each student in school. (“NAME TAGS JERRY!”)

14. The school year begins in March, not September like we’re used to in the U.S.

15. Since school is year round, they don’t have a big break before they enter their new grade, but they do have a summer, winter and spring break. Spring vacation happens about 3-4 weeks after Winter vacation ends which is weird.

16. A standard day for elementary school kids is about 5 hours long

17. A standard day for middle school kids is about 8 hours long

18. A standard day for the majority of High Schools is about 12 hours. Sometimes longer. I’m not kidding.

19. In Middle School and High School, the students often take a high number of classes, up to 11 subjects.

20. As if High School wasn’t demanding enough, the Korean version of the SATs is apparently one of the most difficult standardized tests in the world. Here’s a bunch of facts on that test alone…
a. Some parents make their kids start studying for it before they even get to middle school.
b. The test takes place on the same day every year, the second Thursday of November
c. All students take the exam the same day
d. The exam lasts about 9 and a half hours. No kidding.
e. Because everyone of the same age is doing the same thing at the same time on the same day. Traffic problems occur which lead to
i. Extra buses/trains running during those hours before/after the exam
ii. Workers allowed to show up an hour later to limit traffic
f. Having a quiet and peaceful atmosphere is essential as well, which leads to
i. A ban on honking horns near schools
ii. Flight schedules are changed
iii. Protests of any kind should not happen
g.Students get treated like GODS on this day
i. Parents will usually bring their kids to school, and there will be loads of people outside CHEERING kids on as they enter the school. “COME ON BEN, ACE THAT EXAM!!!”
ii. Underclassmen and past graduates might show up as well to show support.
iii. People will be handing out candy, tea, coffee, etc. to people as they walk in, to give them a little energy before the stressful day starts
iv. Taxi’s might give students free taxi rides
h. The test isn’t the be all and end all of your success, but if you get into a top University, you’re on cruise control from there on out. Just like they can be obsessed with personal appearance, the name of the school on your diploma carries a lot of weight from what I’ve read, more so than it does back in the US.

Although I’m envious that many of my students speak pretty good English AND can play an instrument or two, I’m certainly put off a little bit by what it takes for them to get there.

What does all this stress lead to? Well, here’s a direct quote from a website I found…

“Suicide and the CSAT - Because everything rides on this one exam, this one day, it is not surprising that there are suicides before and after the test, or when the results are published. Some students, convinced they will not do well, chose to die rather than take the exam. Although the highest number of suicides use to happen in December, these days they happen earlier since the answers are posted on-line hours after the test is over.”

Yikes.

…and they have no problems openly discussing it to you whether they just met you or not. I’ve mentioned the “handsome” thing before, (I stopped counting, it got old). But it goes beyond that…

Whether they’re telling you good things or bad things, whether it’s people you know or don’t know, it just doesn’t matter. It’s like it’s ingrained in them to be extremely aware of your personal appearance and they also have no qualms about saying what’s on their mind…

The Students…

Have no problem telling you unflattering things about yourself…You have a tall nose…Teacher your head has many lines on it…Very red and bad looking (kid points to a blemish on my face)…Your forehead looks like a gorilla…Your head is big…Your hair is gray like a grandfather’s…Your eyes are blue, it’s scary…Your face has many spots on it (referring to my freckles)…Your arm is hairy like animal…Your nose looks like a dragon (when my nostrils flare) All direct quotes. I could go on, but that’s all I can remember.

Students have called us old (not too bad), but also have made remarks about us being fat and ugly. I laugh it off considering I way a buck-fifty, but my female coworker might not (does not actually) take kindly to. A friend of mine also told me a student at his school pointed to his female coworkers’ stomach and asked if she was pregnant…she was not. I’m sure that stung a little.

They also don’t mind calling you handsome or cute…even the boys. It’s a little weird having a bunch of 12 year olds write in there diary’s that they think you are attractive. I was talking to one of my older classes about sports and when I told them I work out a lot they asked me to pick up my shirt to see if I had a six pack, or “chocolate pack” (I guess because of the way a chocolate bar has cubed pieces you can break apart). This was very odd and I obviously changed the subject and wanted no part of something that would get me fired in a second in the United States.

A day usually doesn’t go by where I don’t hear a comment from my students related to my appearance.

The Coworkers…

Have no problem asking somewhat awkward questions or even making comments that are borderline inappropriate. If mentioning you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, the first thing they have said is “is he/she beautiful/handsome?” I’m not sure if this question has ever gotten a response other than “yes.” Weird it would even be asked.

Furthermore, when my new coworker was hired, the principal said to me “for you, maybe I hope she is very beautiful.” I can’t imagine an employer back home saying that, it’s probably a fire-able offense.

It was also weird that I had to send TWO PICTURES in with my resume before I had an interview. One was a headshot, and the other was a full shot of my body. This is standard procedure for jobs over here.

Last week my coworkers boyfriend told her that I “lost weight and didn’t look good.” Keep in mind he has only seen me twice, the first time was in September and the second time when he made this comment which was 6 months later. He also made the comment after seeing me from across the street, at night, as I exited school and walked home. Not sure how he could make such a comment given the circumstances, either way, I don’t know why anyone would say such a thing.

The People you meet…

It’s funny, but a little awkward as well, hearing little kids (or even grownups) point at you and call you handsome randomly when you’re walking around. They’re sizing you up from the second they see you.

Also, a little awkward when COUPLES make comments about you. I’ve had situations where couples were together, and the man or woman have said something to me. Just a random shout out on the street “you are handsome” and they keep walking. I don’t know what’s weirder, the girl saying that in front of her boyfriend, or the guy saying it to me?

I can’t complain, I guess I should be flattered the majority of comments I get from people and students (the ones who aren’t just trying to piss me off) are positive, however I must say I have seen some VERY attractive Korean females with very unattractive foreigners, so maybe the standards here are lower?

Either way, it doesn’t bother me when the bad ones come, and I don’t think much of it when the good ones come, but it’s just interesting it happens so often in all types of scenarios. Image is everything here in a way.