I Live In Korea

I'm Done....Again......

2011-09-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

So I went back for the month of May and added 6 more posts, but now I'm done....Again... So, in conclusion, I'd just like to re-post my farewell video. Till we meet again Korea..........

- Ben Gwynne

38 Things I Didn't Tell You About Korea.....

2011-08-22T05:04:00.003-07:00

Long post ahead but it’s informative. Most of these I forgot to mention when I was there teaching, others I just found out about on my recent trip.

1. Eye glasses are insanely cheap and take a really short amount of time to make. How cheap? I have two really nice pairs that I spent a combined $150 on. How quick? I walk in, and in 30 minutes I have my glasses picked out, my eye checkup done, and the lenses are fixed according to my prescription and ready to go.

2. Some people keep charred logs of wood in their fridges, this supposedly helps keep the fridge smelling fresh as the charred logs eat up any foul odors.

3. The subway cards are awesome for a variety of reasons, one of them is instead of a card you can have a little charm to put on your cell phone that will work as a subway pass. Also, you don’t have to take it out to swipe at the subway/bus machine, it can read through your wallet/bag. The card/charm works for most taxis and even at some convenience stores. It’s not flimsy like the Metro Card which can be destroyed easily. Also, look at them. There’s no way a Metro Card is better than this...

4. You can charge your cellphone in most convenience stores. Maybe I mentioned this before, but it’s amazing and needs to be mentioned again.

5. Everyone composts, even if they don’t have a yard to plant things in. Don’t know what composting is? Well, then you’re probably an American from a large metropolitan city and you should look it up.

6. Korean people don’t think white people can eat spicy food or use chopsticks. I have received many compliments on my ability to use chopsticks and get looks from people in restaurants when they see me eating spicy food. Sometimes I get overly dramatic (but serious) responses with people literally shaking their head and encourage me not to eat the food. Sometimes I see people elbowing their friend and pointing in my direction to imply “look at that white boy, he’s going to try and eat that spicy pepper!” It’s highly comical and I play it up when I have the chance.

7. Long stop lights. My old neighborhood had a light that took 3 ½ minutes to change through its full cycle (I timed it). People wait too because......Confucius. Follow rules, order. I nearly got a summons my first weekend there for crossing the street at 4am when no cars were insight, a cop came over to nab me but I played the dumb-foreigner card. The longest light I’ve seen was 5 minutes.

8. Most newer apartments you don’t use keys to get inside, they have an electronic keypad so you just punch in a code and you’re in. This is amazing. Think about all the time you’ve spent looking for your keys, how inconvenient it is to have to bring your keys with you when you go for a run or go to the gym, or think about the times when your jacket was stolen with your keys inside, and your roommate was passed out so you had to sleep on the floor outside of your apartment door to the horror of your neighbors (Hypothetical situation of course).

9. A number of fast food restaurants are open 24 hours.

10. Spitting is…how do I put this mildly…socially acceptable? Standing on the corner waiting to cross the street, and hearing a 70 year old woman loudly “hock a loogie” is not only not out of the question, but probably something you will see regularly.

11. All fast food restaurants deliver.

12. Excluding the “blue trucks” and some taxis which are orange, I’d estimate that 93% of the cars are black, white or silver. Nothing unusual really, just following the norm. Confucius.

13. Most apartments don’t have dryers or ovens. Clothes are air-dried on a rack, baking just isn’t very big.

14. Ping-pong halls, pool halls, PC rooms (think, internet cafe without coffee, just heaps of people playing computer games), and noraebang’s (karaoke rooms) are EVERYWHERE. If you walk 2 minutes without seeing one of them, you are blind.

15. There is a motorcycle delivery service where they will literally bring you anything you want. I always wondered why I saw some guys on a bike with crap stacked six feet high on the back, but now I know, he’s running errands for someone.

16. There is also a motorcycle taxi service. In a bind and don’t want to deal with traffic? MTS will weave through and bring you wherever the hell you want. Awesome.

17. __________ don’t ____________________ _________________ _____________. (Too lengthy to get into, use your imagination and get back to me.)

18. Being single is somewhat of a sin. I must have been asked about 100x if I had a girlfriend and each facial expression when I replied “no” was more sad than the next. Being 30 there (my Korean age) is like being 36 and single in the US. Basically, I’m close to being washed up (no offense to any 36 year old single people). Good thing I’m a man though as it’s worse for women. What does this lead to? Well, my roommate when I was back for this trip kept wanting to set me up so I could have a “girlfriend.” Guy surprised me by bringing along some random girl when he and I went out to dinner. She knew about 20 words in English and her first question to me was “are you disappointed by my age?” (Little does she know!!!!)

Seriously though, it was over-bearing how many times this guy would pester me about being single, trying to set me up, or being flabbergasted that I was meeting up with former coworkers or friends who were females and the relationship was just platonic. The important thing to remember though, is that he was just being nice. Sometimes the kindness can be overbearing, but you always have to remember that they’re just trying.

19. Cigarettes are $2.50 a pack. Foreigners come here and think “I’m in a new place, let’s change some habits of mine, no more smoking.” But then you see how cheap cigarettes are, you can smoke everywhere unlike most major American cities, and then they crack.

20. Dunkin Donuts is awesome. There is considerably less sugar in the donuts here, making it possible to eat six (if one were so inclined) without feeling sick. Oh, they also sell churros at some of them too.

21. Cell phones work everywhere...tunnels, highest peak in the country, subways, etc. everywhere. I mentioned this before, but the reason this is important is because the luxury isn’t abused like it would probably be in the US. On subways, if someone is using their phone, they are probably covering their mouth to keep their voice low and are talking for a very short period of time. It’s just not polite. C-ON-F-U-C-I-U-S.

22. The school buses are nicer than ours

23. According to the always accurate Wikipedia, there are 2,282 7/11’s in Korea and it’s the 5th most of any country in the world. I’m shocked by that number and believe it must be higher since that figure was calculated. There were two on my block alone less than 400 yards from each other. It’s insane, I saw more 7/11’s there than I see Starbuck’s in NYC.

24. Elevator buttons can cancel out. Pushed the wrong button? No problem, push it again and the light goes off. This would have ruined mine and some of my friends’ childhood, who made a habit out of pushing every button on the elevator before we got off on the floor we needed to. Kids.

25. Nothing gets stolen. Ever. People keep their gym shoes in a shoe rack at the gym so they can go straight from work and leave their shoes there. In supermarkets and some other stores, they have a bin in the front where you put your wet umbrellas so you don’t have to carry it around with you and get the floor all wet. CONFUCIUS.

26. Drinking in public is legal anywhere. I’ve said this before, but you have no idea how great it is (not trying to sound like a lush) to be able to hop in a cab with a road soda. Of course there’s dumb-asses who ruin it though and make foreigners look like ignorant "louts." Sitting on the floor of a subway car, drinking and playing card games? Really? It’s something great but shouldn’t be abused, it's a simple pleasure like cellphones working on a train. Do it undercover and in a way where it's basically kept to yourself.

27. People eat buffalo wings with a fork and knife. I only went to wing night twice, but every single person in the bar on both occasions was using a fork and knife. I didn’t want to be rude so I obliged and it completely ruined the experience of eating a buffalo wing.

28. Beer pong is played with water. I only went to a bar that had beer pong twice, so it’s not the greatest sample size, but all games throughout the night were played with water. No one drank the water, they just played to see who could hit the most shots. What kind of game is that?

29. Bus seats all face forward in the same direction. A lot of buses in other cities will have some sideways seats for space efficiency. I have no official explanation, but I can only believe the orderliness of the seats all facing forward has to do with a man named Confucius.

30. North Koreans who successfully defect to South Korea are given $10,000-$28,000 in start up money. In the US, Mexicans who cross the border get shitty jobs picking tomatoes and are blamed for the collapse of the US economy, crime and a number of other problems.

31. In the US, if there is a sale advertised, it usually looks like this “20%-40% off.” In Korea, it looks like “40%-20% off.” It seems weird, but it might make sense. Seeing the bigger number first might suck people in more. I believe a study needs to be done on this if it has not already.

32. A lot of gas stations look like this. Notice anything weird (hard to tell, shitty picture)? Well, there are no pumps, just an overhead thingie. This is a huge space saver and also let’s people not have to worry about what side of the car their gas tank is on. Genius idea.

33. Cabs are cheap as hell, probably 1/3rd of the price of a NYC taxicab. It’s awesome.

34. Traffic on the highways around Seoul is horrific, worse than NY, better than LA though (I think).

35. The vast majority of tennis courts are a clay/dirt. They also keep a chalk line maker there and some places even keep a bunch of balls too, but of course, none of them get stolen. Confucius?

36. Subways have vending machines, a digital map so you can see the overview/Google maps type view of the surrounding area to locate parks, restaurants, hospitals, etc. It’s awesome. There are also flat screen tv’s in a number of train stations showing commercials, news, etc.

37. Despite the constant references to him, Confucius is not from Korea, he’s from China, but the influence of his teachings reached Korea and I’m glad it did.

Misc. Graffiti/Pictures

2011-08-22T05:04:00.001-07:00

Decorated Subway Car

Subway Bench

Crabs Tempa?

My Korean Family

Koreans Dancing

2011-08-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

I wish I could tell you there was a rational explanation for this video, but, it's just Korean silliness. These videos were all taken on the same day, within a few hours of each other, within about 10 yards of each other. Just an average day of walking around a busy park in Seoul, and people doing weird things for no reason and having not a care in the world about those watching them. Obviously, it's better with the sound on.

Korean Socks

2011-08-21T22:15:00.000-07:00

People are selling socks (and stockings) everywhere in Korea. Everywhere. Every week it seems the sock guy outside of one of the train stations has a new shipment in of absurd looking socks. I wish I took pictures of all the different ones I saw throughout my time there, but I only decided to on this last trip back. They cost $.50-$1.00, are comfortable as hell, and if you are lucky I sent you a pair for Christmas in 2009.

Finally Reflecting A Year Later....Korea Can Be Whatever You Want

2011-08-21T21:55:00.001-07:00

Yes, I went back to Korea recently, not for too long though. After this rant I have a few more posts to make and then this will be done for good, whether I ever return or not.

Since leaving Korea about a year ago, I continued to receive emails and random comments on my posts/videos from people moving to Korea who wanted to ask me questions about the country I maybe left unanswered. It made me wish I had written more while I was there since there are so many topics I just made blurbs about without really getting into fully. I probably could’ve promoted the blog more inside of the country as well, but I need to remember, (뒤로보지말고, 앞으로 나아). I did realize that I never really wrote an overall post about my reflections after the year I spent there, so here goes...

The great thing about going to Korea to teach is that it can be whatever you want: if you feel like staying out till 6am three nights a week and just get wasted all the time, ok. If you want to totally immerse yourself in the culture to the point where you don’t mind dating someone who barely speaks your language, cool. If you want an easy job to pay off any debt you have, it’s a great place to do it. If you want to get away from problems in your life and not look back, perfect. If you have no clue about what you want to do in life, but want an easy job that will pay well, while at the same time continue to bi*** about how much you hate living in the country but for some reason decide to keep staying, well you can do that too (and you’ll have a lot of company). To put it simply, if you’ve ever wanted to live in another country for a year and you have no idea what you want to do with yourself, Korea is a great option. It can be whatever you want.

A lot changed since I left even though only nine months passed. A new subway extension was built connecting Seoul to a big ski resort/water park, a massive amount of construction is being done in my city (Incheon) which is hosting the 2014 Asian games, a lot of park beautification efforts are taking place along the Han River which divides Seoul, buildings were completed, a lot of new stores opened up, etc. etc. etc. This is only the beginning, as there are other major reconstruction efforts inside and outside of Seoul. With Korea getting the 2018 Winter Olympics, forget about it. I won’t recognize the place when I go back in 2018 to watch. Again, I was only gone for nine months. I remember returning to the U.S. after being away for a year, and feeling a little depressed walking around NYC as I noticed more places had closed down since I left. In Korea it was the complete opposite. Anyway...

Teaching English in Korea is a good job, if not an extremely cushy one. Pay is good, your hours are great, the work isn’t too overwhelming (to say the least) unless you’re a dumbass like me and decide to spend a lot of time doing work you don’t have to do. There are some downsides to the position but overall it’s a great experience. Still, for some reason when you’re there it feels like you’re on the grind. It could have to do with the nature in which you begin teaching there: thrown into the fire without any training or familiarity with how the school operates, etc. Koreans work pretty damn hard in general, like bees. Robot bees. This rubs off on the foreign teachers and creates the feeling of the grind, where despite the positives of the position, the fact that you’re in a one-year contract and seem very replaceable, it makes it easy to move on.

But I found myself in those months when I was back in the U.S. talking about Korea whenever I could. I would ramble incessantly to anyone who lent an ear. I loved going to get Korean food or making it for friends. When I went into a shop owned by any Asian, I quickly looked around to see if there was any calendars/documents around, to see if they were in Korean so I could ask a question, make a comment, or just say hello/bye, which would get a huge smile out of them. Koreans have a lot of pride, and some of them really get a kick out of you just saying anything in their language. I still follow the news regularly over there. I love the place, and most importantly, I love the people who are kind beyond belief, sometimes to the point where they can be overbearing (I’ll touch on that in a future post).

There’s a big red carpet waiting for foreigners (well, most of them) when you arrive in Korea. The problem is, like the boa constrictor that digested the elephant in the Little Prince and was mistaken for a hat, it’s not there for everyone to see. I can’t tell you the amount of free things I received or preferential treatment I got simply because I was a foreigner. People wanted to befriend me and or went out of their way to make me feel welcomed (especially since I lived in a smaller area of the country). When I went back I visited the oldest temple in Korea with my friend and his family. Not many foreigners ever go there (my Korean teachers had never been there) so they don’t have a pamphlet with information in English to give out. However, they were more than happy to print out a 30 page document with the history of the place and give it to me even though I didn’t ask. How’s that for customer service? Ten minutes later, one of the staff members came from behind the desk, looked around for me and decided to practice his English by telling me all that they knew about the place even though they gave me the information already. This might bother some people because I wasn’t able to go at my own pace, I was now a guest, and they were hosting me around this site and I had to be respectful.

Korean people are funny as hell too. I always laughed when people were shocked that I could eat spicy food, since most Koreans don’t think westerners can for some reason. I distinctly remember a woman at a restaurant initially refusing to give me more spicy sauce because she didn’t think I could eat it, and she watched in horror as I put it all over my food. I laughed when people gave me compliments on my ability to use chopsticks. I thought it was funny that kids walked behind me sometimes when I was heading to school so they could ask me questions or just say “hi” and “nice to meet you” over and over. Being pointed at sometimes on the bus or in public by kids, as if I were an alien, was always a good time, and it happened quite a bit. This may sound narcissistic, but people were often fascinated simply by my presence. I don’t mean that about myself either, just in general because I was a foreigner.

I wonder if I would get tired of it over time though. In a way, I was a novelty there and I soaked it up (without taking advantage). But in the long-run, I wonder if the inability to escape that and never really being able to blend completely in because I’m not a native would eventually make me feel resentment about the place. Maybe I’ll never know…

So, if you think right off the bat that you’d be annoyed or angry by the guy who wanted to talk to me at the temple, then you might end up hating Korea. If you choose to live in an area outside of Seoul/Busan/Jeju (and a few other places I suppose), and don’t like little kids running up to you to randomly say hi and blurt out any word they know in English, you also might not like Korea. If random people coming up to you in a store or on the train to try and chat with you in English bothers you, stay away. If you get mad at the thought of an old lady on a train forearming her way through the crowd to get a seat, then you definitely won’t like Korea. They do that to everyone though, not just foreigners, and personally I think it’s hysterical.

I loved living in Korea, but I think I’m done with it. I probably peaked…I dominated for one year and I think that was that. Even though Ben Teacher will always be a legend at my school (shop/restaurant/post office workers in my town all remembered me too!!), I don’t know if I’d go back and teach, but never say never. Either way, Korea will always feel like a second home to me, and aside from New York City I doubt there will be a place I’ll ever feel as attached to.

Korea isn’t perfect though, and I guess I should point out why since people give me crap and say things like “well if you like it so much why don’t you move there then!” For starters, it’s tougher being a woman and working there since it’s a very patriarchal society. I’ve heard a fair share of sexist comments from men which made me think they were the offspring of Borat. It can be a superficial place at times, and with “appearance” being so important, it could make or break whether you hate the country or love it. There are customs and traditions in the workplace that might not make sense, but you have to follow through with them without any explanation of what they are or what you’re doing. Sick at work and have to miss a few days? Well, you might get fired like a friend of mine did (via email no less!). It can be a frustrating place at times, there’s no denying that.

But all in all, the relative ease of life, awesome nightlife, high-quality transportation, number of things to do, well-paying teaching jobs where the kids are beyond obedient, cheap food/alcohol/cabs/movies/everything, etc., make it hard to complain about. From someone who taught in Korea, left for a while then went back for a bit, I was reminded of how lucky I was when I lived there, but I knew that all along and highlighted it many times on this blog. My advice would be to take advantage of what the country has to offer, or GTFO and go back to the US/UK/Canada/Australia where the job market is miserable, then tell me if you regretted ever going to Korea or not. It’s great for what it is, just remember that.

When I go traveling, I like to finish where I start because it makes me feel like I completed a full circle. So I went back to my old ’hood before I left to stop by my favorite lunch spot, the same place I had my first meal when I arrived in 2009 (I’d bet my life that no foreigners went there since). It was nice chatting with the lady who worked there again. This time, I was at least able to ask/answer a few questions. For twelve months I went there three times a week and the only communication we had was ordering, paying and then goodbye. This time it was a little different, and the pleasantries of that along with knowing I was just back to pay my respects and to see friends, meant she refused to let me pay for the meal. I was the guest, and it was Korea after all.

Review of my year in Korea....

2010-09-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Just a short video I made about my year, might have one more to make, we'll see........

- Ben Gwynne

I No Longer Live In Korea....

2010-09-07T07:22:00.000-07:00

Possibly the best year of my life has come to an end and it was capped off by a wonderful going away party with my coworkers. They gave me a scrap book with letters and pictures from all my students, which is possibly the best present I've ever been given. I've read it many times and showed it to many people. It was tough leaving Korea, I'm back in the USA now but might have to return. Thanks for reading.

I have 2 more videos I'll be posting summing up my year in Korea, I've been busy so I had to delay them, but they will come soon...

Things I Never Got To Tell You About Korea….

2010-08-26T06:34:00.000-07:00

I have a bunch of half-finished posts, but due to time constraints, and not having the necessary material (pictures/videos) I couldn’t make entries about them, so let me sum it all up. Some good things in here…

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That – It’s pretty common to see very young girls walking around holding hands with each other. Actually, it’s common to see girls in their 20s and 30s holding hands. It’s also not out of the ordinary to see two guys in their 20s sitting on the train next to each other, one of them resting his head on the other ones shoulder. Again, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Those that know me, are aware I’m a very open-minded person and have no problem with this whatsoever, all I’m saying is that seeing loads of girls in their 20s and 30s holding hands just as friends and guys resting on each others’ shoulders caught my attention, especially in a culture which isn’t known for its tolerance of homosexuality.

Fast Food – Pretty unique things get sold at fast food restaurants here. Cheese fries at Taco Bell, Kimchi flavored donuts at Dunkin Donuts, corn salad at McDonald’s, etc.

Jimjilbang – Wow, where to begin. If you’re familiar with the premise of a Russian bathhouse, then you’ll understand Jimjilbangs better. Jimjilbangs are basically huge bath houses with different types of saunas, steam rooms, hot tubs, massage parlors, etc. What makes them unique is that you are naked, there’s little kids running around, you can sleep in them and even get your haircut. I’ve been to clothed bathhouses before, but naked ones where fathers bring their little 5 year old son? Pretty weird.

I love Jimjilbangs though, for only $3.50 you can have a really nice time relaxing. They come in really handy for me too. On a number of occasions I’ve gotten back from a long hike, gone to the Jimjilbang, showered up, chilled in the hot tub for a bit to relax, got changed, and gone out. I don’t have to go home or anything, it’s amazing. This would never exist back home, too many creeps in the U.S. unfortunately.

PC Bang – Not everyone has computers in their house here, so they go to a PC Bang which is basically an internet lounge, except that everyone in there is playing computer games. These places are like dungeons; they are dark and have a room reserved for people who want to smoke and play computer games (sometimes they merely have a 5 foot wall which does nothing to separate the smokers from non-smokers). The lure of the PC Bang is they have extremely fast internet connection (probably 2-3 times faster than anything in the U.S.) which make gaming great, the monitors are very large, it’s cheap ($0.40-$1.00 for an hour), and they are open 24 hours. Some of my students spend 6 hours each weekend day at these places. It’s insane. They are always mobbed with people that are there for hours on end smoking, drinking soda and eating ramen noodles. People here are obsessed with computer games, there was a case recently about a couple that would go to a PC Bang and leave their infant child unattended at home. The child died of malnutrition. Another case of a guy dying at the PC Bang because he was on some insane bender, played for 50 hours straight.

Skiing in Korea – 24 hours at some places here. They have 5-7 hour ski sessions, and then go on a short break to blow snow at some places which have overnight skiing. I went once with my coworkers and we were skiing from 12am-5am. Something else weird is that most people don’t own their own ski clothes, they rent outfits when they get their equipment. Another funny thing is hearing Korean pop music blasting throughout the mountain. Also funny that 95% of people who snowboard take their board off when they got on the chairlift and carry it on with them. Another funny thing is seeing people in RIDICUOUS outfits, like full body rabbit, teddy bear, etc. outfits. I lost my memory card which had some great clips/pictures of this, I was pretty bummed.

Elections in Korea – I was unfortunate enough to be here in a year where there were elections nationwide. If you think elections in the U.S. are annoying, well, in Korea, it’s worse. On a busy street corner you’ll likely find all 4 corners taken up by various opposition. Each candidate will have it’s “support” on one corner. They are usually women in their 30s-50s who will be wearing neon colored shirts, and singing/dancing in unison. It’s ridiculous.

Korean Cafes – There’s some very interesting cafes here. They might be Hello Kitty themed, they might have birds flying around inside of them, cats walking around. You might have the option to wear various ridiculous dresses, or you can even go to a medical café where a doctor will do a quick checkup. Insane.

Cars Run Red Lights – I fear for my life sometimes crossing the street because cars have absolutely no respect for red lights. The irony behind this is that people will sometimes have to wait 3 minutes for a light to turn green so they can cross, and will wait despite their being absolutely no cars in sight. Not only do they wait, but they wait patiently. Put them in cars, and all hell breaks loose. I’ve been in cabs before where the guy was watching a baseball game when it was dark out, was stopped behind cars waiting for a red light, weaved into the OPPOSITE lane, got to the front of the cars waiting, got back in the lane, and then ran the red light and made his turn. It’s outrageous. Meanwhile, they snicker if you buckle your seatbelt, and many cabs don’t even have working seatbelts as well.

Misc. Facts

Cell Phone Chargers – ever been out and your battery dies? 7-11 and other 24 hour
convenience stores all over the place here, and all of them recharge your phone in 30 minutes for $1. It’s amazing.

Wedding Cards – They don’t really do them here. I had to search near and far for them. I mentioned it to my coworker and they said they usually just throw cash in a blank envelope.

Playing Cards – They run you about $12-15 at the convenience stores, I’m not kidding. I was slightly under the influence of alcohol and actually bought a pack. Good thing my brother didn’t buy me 2 packs of PINNACLE cards and bring them over for me.

All men have to serve in the military - some Olympians who win medals get special privileges and get excluded, or do a quick 4 weeks. Some other celebrities weasel their way out of it too. I think now you have to serve for 20 months, but I think the number will drop to 18 months pretty soon.

High Fives –Haven’t caught on yet fully over here. A number of my students flinch when I put my hand up passing them in the hallway hoping to get some dap back from them.

That's all I got right now.... Almost done here....

Inappropriate Things My Kids Say About Me Pt.3

2010-08-25T06:53:00.000-07:00

Skip ahead if you already read this in Part 1 and Part 2

I have a class where some of their homework assignments require students to look up and write the definition of new vocabulary words and use each of them in an example sentence. That is what they are supposed to do, but because of the incredible amount of work they already have to do, the Korean teacher allows them to just rewrite the word 10 times. I guess this helps them with the spelling of the word?

I told the kids for my classes, they don’t have to write it 10 times, but they HAVE to use the word in an example sentence. That way they are practicing their sentence writing and thinking about how to use the word. At first they complained that this was too hard and they have too much work to do already, but we usually finish our lessons early and I let them do their homework, I even help them out on it. The sentences don’t have to be related to the lesson we learned, I told them to use them in ANY way possible, as long as it makes sense. I even told them they can say whatever they want about me, my family, USA, whatever, as long as it makes sense! The end result ended up back firing on me…

(not all of the pics were taken before I graded their work so the grammar is sometimes still incorrect)

Fell

Thief

Habit

Poor

Probably

Encourages

Nowadays

Even

Various

Desert

Survive

Fur

Substantial

Godmother

Fact (I LIKE THIS ONE!)

Stepmother

Not add up

As soon as

I love these kids.

A lot of these came from an 11 year old girl with impeccable handwriting, who is one of the sweetest, shyest, and smartest girls in the school. I speak with her a lot and she likes me, so I don’t care if she is messing around and writing about me. I’m kind of happy I’m encouraging her to be a smart ass actually.

Funny Signs: Part 4 (With T-Shirts too)

2010-08-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

I think my biggest regret about Korea is not taking pictures of all the ridiculous t-shirts I've seen. A day walking around Seoul doesn't go by where I don't see absolutely absurd t-shirts. I see 9 year old girls wearing shirts which say "I like it dirty" and there's a picture of a martini glass on the back of the shirt. They have no idea what the shirt says or means. Then, there's the one's that have horrific spelling ("Boston, Massachubatts"...easily the most popular shirt in Korea), the strange verbiage ("Justifiable Traditional Sports Casual" or "Trendy Modern Casual Style"), and finally ones with random curses ("You ain't a cowboy, you ain't shit!"). I don't know who makes these shirts and why the hell people buy them, but they do, and I finally decided to take pictures when I could....

Boston, MassachuBATTS......................................... Boston FELTICS?

Just random seeing a Shawn Kemp Jersey....Other jersey says "Nuccess".If you don't know, should say "Nuggets"

I clue about the hamburger shirt...other one says "Take This Job and SHOVE IT!"

On the front was a big pic of an eagle

This is just a VERY wordy shirt................ Great line from a classic rap song

There is no opium here, or ANYWHERE
in Korea for that matter. So I don't get it

Pictures from Ocean World. One isn't funny, just ridiculous seeing a ride with a 3 hour and 40 minute wait. Everything at Ocean World is "extreme" even the place for missing children.

Pretty sure it's supposed to say "College." Unless they were showing off collages. Lastly, there's Zazz, one of my favorite genres of music

Funny pictures and signs round one
Funny pictures and signs round two
Funny pictures and signs round three

Inappropriate Things My Kids Say About Me Pt.2

2010-08-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

Skip ahead if you already read this in Part 1

I have a class where some of their homework assignments require students to look up and write the definition of new vocabulary words and use each of them in an example sentence. That is what they are supposed to do, but because of the incredible amount of work they already have to do, the Korean teacher allows them to just rewrite the word 10 times. I guess this helps them with the spelling of the word?

I told the kids for my classes, they don’t have to write it 10 times, but they HAVE to use the word in an example sentence. That way they are practicing their sentence writing and thinking about how to use the word. At first they complained that this was too hard and they have too much work to do already, but we usually finish our lessons early and I let them do their homework, I even help them out on it. The sentences don’t have to be related to the lesson we learned, I told them to use them in ANY way possible, as long as it makes sense. I even told them they can say whatever they want about me, my family, USA, whatever, as long as it makes sense! The end result ended up back firing on me…

(not all of the pics were taken before I graded their work so the grammar is sometimes still incorrect)

Worship

Put Forward

All Kinds

Quite

Terrible

Crowded

Crazy About

Tied

Probably

Bright

Dangerous

Missing

Purchased

Well Known

Refused

Therefore

Do away with

Aircraft

Turn Up Late

Ancient

Ridiculous

Botany

As well as

I love these kids.

A lot of these came from an 11 year old girl with impeccable handwriting, who is one of the sweetest, shyest, and smartest girls in the school. I speak with her a lot and she likes me, so I don’t care if she is messing around and writing about me. I’m kind of happy I’m encouraging her to be a smart ass actually.

What Is The Boryeong Mud Festival?

2010-08-11T05:35:00.000-07:00

The Boryeong Mud Festival is an annual event which takes place in a city called……Boryeong, which is located on the beach. The festival has been going on since 1998, it’s about 9 days long, and attracts about 2 million visitors each year.

To summarize it quickly, it’s basically a non-stop **** show that involves people getting as muddy as possible and participating in various games/activities. All while being on the beach, wearing bathing suits, drinking, and being around various types of performances. A recipe for fun.

Here’s some pictures and videos, check it out….

My roommates on the trip. Good people.

Trust me, I wasn’t the only person who probably looked like a creep with a camera. Hordes of media, professional and amateur photographers were there. I didn’t mind people taking pictures of Ben Teacher Avatar, so everyone is fair game. Especially that one in the black, you know you saw who I’m talking about in the video.

Mud festival was pretty damn awesome and I highly recommend anyone in Korea at the time goes.

What Is Love Land?

2010-08-05T19:23:00.000-07:00

Love Land is an outdoor sculpture park on the island of Jeju (next week I’ll talk about that). The theme for Love Land is…you guessed it, love. Well, it’s actually a sex themed sculpture park, “what’s love got to do with it?”

No point in describing it anymore, pictures tell the story, but watch the video for an even better run through. Again, this is not safe for work unless you have privacy or just don’t care.

Of course, you must take the obligatory pictures interacting with the sculptures

So that's Love Land. It was pretty...(puts on sunglasses)...amuse-ing. Definitely worth a visit if you ever make it to Jeju Island. Fun times.

What Is A Love Motel?

2010-08-03T06:09:00.000-07:00

I already told you about DVD Bangs, those are basically places where (generally) younger couples go for a little action, and people like me go to watch a movie and drink beers before I go out. DVD Bangs are amateur hour, Love Motels are where it’s at.

Love Motels are for couples that live at home still but actually have money, cheating husbands, and foreigners who go to another city for a weekend then meet someone at a bar and need a private place to sleep instead of the one they are sharing with friends. Love Motels are ALL over Korea. Even in my small town there’s a bunch of them.

Watch the video for more….

It’s safe for work by the way….

What is Kimchi?
What is Krumping?
What is the DMZ?
What is the Fan Death?
What is DDongchim?

Three Things That Will NEVER Happen in America

2010-07-20T07:29:00.002-07:00

There’s loads of things that I have noticed or have happened in Korea here that would never be common in America. For instance, Korea has a lot of things that aren’t necessarily legal, but they are okay. Such as bringing your own beer into a sporting event and running red lights if no one is around. There’s common trends like the older person usually paying for dinner/drinks even if it’s against your will or you’ve run up a massive bill on your own. It’s not out of the ordinary for random Koreans to invite you out for drinks or to just start randomly feeding you.

Also, Koreans don’t like saying no, so when you ask someone in a store for directions, he might get out from behind his desk, take you outside, walk a block or two and offer to keep going until you get to the spot. True story. There’s the honor system of leaving your umbrellas/gym shoes in the lobby of your school/gym and knowing with 100% certainty it will never be stolen, but I’m not going to mention any of that.

Those are cultural phenomenon’s and acts of kindness that may take place in other countries that are friendly towards foreigners. What I’m talking about are specific things that have happened to me that will never, EVER, happen in America.

ONE - About a month ago I was craving some fried chicken. Who wouldn’t crave chicken after seeing this commercial?

I heard this restaurant is one of the best fried chicken joints in Korea, and I love some fried chicken. Went there with my buddy one afternoon, we noticed no one was inside and were losing hope. The door was open so we walked in and by communicating, we found out they were closed, all they were doing at the time take out and they won’t be open for seating any time soon. As we are about to walk out, someone else came up to the register and communicated to us that it’s okay and we can come in despite being closed. We went out to the patio where they have nice seats along the street and had some great chicken. No big deal right? Well, for any American reading this, imagine a couple of Mexicans who don’t speak English walking into a closed restaurant in the US and being treated the same. No chance in hell.

TWO - Two weekends ago I bought a t-shirt. I love the shirt. I was slightly hungover that day, so my cognitive skills weren’t up to par. I headed to a pool to relax and spend the day in the sun. I went to the bathroom to change. While I was in there I rested my brand new shirt on a counter, got ready, then laid down.

A few hours later I was getting ready to leave and realized I left my shirt in the bathroom. I was pissed since I JUST bought it that day. A shot in the dark, I went to the lost and found, and although I know VERY little Korean, and the person I spoke with knew little English, I was able to translate a few key things to her: “purple…shirt…penguin.” I gave her my name and phone number, then went to get my bag and head out of there. Suddenly, over a loudspeaker an announcement came out and the only word I understood was penguin. Yes, they made an announcement to everyone that a shirt was lost and if they found it they should return it. I was pleasantly surprised, but also embarrassed as I’m sure people got a chuckle about the description of the item being announced.

I went home and my fantastic weekend ended on a slightly bad note. The next day, I got a phone call from someone who barely spoke English. My Korean coworkers weren’t around so I had no one to hand the phone to. I hung up, texted back my address, and prayed. A few days later, my shirt arrived safe and sound. Unreal.

THREE - Last weekend I made my monthly trip to the E-Mart (I guess a Korean version of Walmart) to do some shopping. My “shopping list” is usually just Gatorade and Mr. Potato.

This week I was picking up a tube to use when I go to the swimming pools as well. BIG sale on Gatorade, two 1.5 liter (50 ounces) for 2,000 won ($1.65). Why not go all out and possibly not have to make another shopping trip? I stocked up and got 9 packs (18 total) total. My eyes were bigger than my arms, and I was STRUGGLING to carry the bags out of the store. Luckily a cab was strolling up to the front, I managed getting over there, and was about to hop in. Then, two women and a baby come running behind me screaming. Despite the huge language barrier, I manage to realize they called for the taxi so I can't get in. Now, I have to walk a little bit, and hope another cab comes by. Looking defeated, they tell me to come in and we’ll share a cab.

In the cab, I can tell them where I live, that I’m a teacher, an American, 27, have been here 10 months, that’s about it. They get out first, and PAY FOR THE CAB. You cannot refuse help from a Korean, it’s very difficult to do. They handed the cab driver more money than they should have given him, and got out. I looked like a pathetic chump. I can’t imagine that happening in the US, unless some really attractive female was about to get into a cab that belonged to some dorky guy with a lot of cash and was trying to impress her/get a date, then paid for the whole thing.

The cabbie brought me to my place, I gave him a tip (despite his refusal since tipping is not commonplace here either), and walked up to my place feeling shamed, but also feeling reminded about how much I love this country.

COEX Aquarium

2010-07-20T07:29:00.001-07:00

I love zoos and aquariums. Love em. You throw me at a zoo and I can stand and watch the monkeys in action all day. Same goes for penguins and seals at aquariums. I heard great things about the COEX Aquarium here so I decided to give it a go, and it didn’t disappoint.

Right upon entering, you’re going to notice a different setup than any aquarium you’ve been to before. They have a whole section showing foreign species of an animal right next to the domestic kind. Pretty cool seeing what the frogs, crabs, etc. look like here compared to what I’m used to seeing in the US.
Japanese Spider Crab

The use of space is also amazing here. The use of modern devices as fish tanks was very unique and nothing I’d ever seen before.

Other nice features such as a huge tank you can walk underneath make it nice too.

An Amazon themed area make you feel like you're in a jungle and has some other animals you wouldn't normally expect to see at an aquarium.

Also some pretty funny signs...

Here's some random pictures of animals there...

Video of a shark, Dr. Fish, and a little show some scuba divers put on who go into a huge tank to swim with the fishes and turtles.

I highly recommend this aquarium if you are in or visiting Seoul. There's also an aquarium in the 63 Building, but it sucks. Don't go to it.

The COEX Aquarium is inside the COEX mall which is at Samseong Station, Subway line 2 (green line).

Weird Stuff In My Books And Weird Places

2010-07-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

I've seen a lot of random things in my book, around town, in stores, etc., here's some of my favorites...

You've all seen the lobster crane game where you can win a toy lobster, but
in Korea you can find ones with REAL LIVE LOBSTERS. This machine was
off, thus, the lobsters were dead, but I am hellbent on finding a working
machine and I will play until I win a lobster. No doubt about it.

I have seen several bar bathrooms with tongs on top
of or next to the toilet. It's a little stange.

I had an entire lesson which talked about bodily functions. Mainly poop and farts. It made no sense really, and it was for one of my more advanced classes. All they did was laugh the whole time, and call some kid named Martin "Fartin."

A little strange, buy two bottles of "Pocari Sweat"
(Koreas take on Gatorade) and get a free paper towel roll.

Just some stereotypical stuff in my book.
"I" is for Indian? Couldn't find another good "I" word?

Yes, all rappers look like this.

"Renee is rich, but Zach is poor." Then I get a handful of diary's from my students saying how poor people are "lazy, terrible, pitiful, pitiable, etc."

This would be fine if it was October, but these pumpkin mobiles came out in December. I have no idea what they were doing, it was very random.

Inappropriate Things My Kids Say About Me

2010-07-04T18:44:00.000-07:00

I have a class where some of their homework assignments require students to look up and write the definition of new vocabulary words and use each of them in an example sentence. That is what they are supposed to do, but because of the incredible amount of work they already have to do, the Korean teacher allows them to just rewrite the word 10 times. I guess this helps them with the spelling of the word?

I told the kids for my classes, they don’t have to write it 10 times, but they HAVE to use the word in an example sentence. That way they are practicing their sentence writing and thinking about how to use the word. At first they complained that this was too hard and they have too much work to do already, but we usually finish our lessons early and I let them do their homework, I even help them out on it. The sentences don’t have to be related to the lesson we learned, I told them to use them in ANY way possible, as long as it makes sense. I even told them they can say whatever they want about me, my family, USA, whatever, as long as it makes sense! The end result ended up back firing on me…

(not all of the pics were taken before I graded their work so the grammar is sometimes still incorrect)

Dangerous

Effective

Aware

Pair

Product

Crash

Fail

Maniac

Habit

Humble

Dumbest

Monarch

Jail

Feature

Lazy

Toddler

Global

A lot of these came from an 11 year old girl with impeccable handwriting, who is one of the sweetest, shyest, and smartest girls in the school. I speak with her a lot and she likes me, so I don’t care if she is messing around and writing about me. I’m kind of happy I’m encouraging her to be a smart ass actually.

Busan

2010-06-29T06:03:00.003-07:00

I recently made a return to Busan, a beach on the southeastern part of South Korea for the annual Haeundae Sand Festival. Looking back, I was there last October and had a great time.
Busan is amazing. It has beautiful beaches but is also a big city as well. It truly is the best of both worlds. A very laid back atmosphere during the day but the opportunity to rage at night, good restaurants, BIGGEST DEPARTMENT STORE IN THE WORLD, it’s just great. I left there and for the first time had regrets about coming to Korea, but it was only in regards to the city I chose to live in.

The Haeundae Sand Festival features sand castle contests, beach volleyball contest, arm wrestling contest, fireworks, sand boarding, music, etc. Here’s a bunch of pictures and a video.

Not to sound like a lush, but drinking in public is an amazing thing. In Western countries, people have a tendency of abusing any privileges they are given. This lax rule would probably lead to an obscene amount of kegs, big parties on the beach, people destroying things, etc. Here, it just means you can bring beers and chill out. No one going crazy (despite that one beer chugging contest sponsored by the hotel), no trash on the beach, no one disgracing themselves, etc. Just good times all around.

The freedom over here, is one big thing I’ll miss about Korea. The lack of certain regulations is great; drinking in public is okay, cell phones are used on the trains/buses, you can bring your own food/drinks into sporting events, bars don’t have to close at certain times, no big deal for cars to run red lights if no one else is around, etc. However, these luxuries rarely get abused. You won’t find many people talking on their phone on the bus or subway, and if they do, they’re usually quiet and quick. I can only imagine how annoying the NYC subway system will be the day cell phones can work when you’re underground.

I wasn’t in Busan for 48 hours that weekend and couldn’t stop raving about it. The entire time I just felt like I was on vacation. I hope I’ll make it back.

World Cup Madness Part II

2010-06-29T06:03:00.001-07:00

The pictures and video above are from a 2010 World Cup game which took place at 3:30AM on a TUESDAY night (Korea vs. Nigeria). Yes, there were thousands upon thousands of people gathered together at 3:30 AM to watch a soccer game outside. Not only that, but there were concerts (very famous Korean bands), dancers, cheerleaders, fireworks, everyone wearing the same colors, etc. Every time there was a game, kids at school were wearing jerseys to show support, and a lot had temporary tattoos painted on as well. I was getting shout outs from random Koreans on the street when they saw me wearing my colors. It was an amazing experience but believe it or not, it wasn’t the best one I had here. Last Saturday night I had the pleasure of experiencing one of the best sports atmospheres I’ll ever be a part of in my life.

The World Cup fever over here was out of control and I was all aboard the Korean bandwagon. Despite the rain, stadiums, Seoul Plaza, parks, and other venues throughout the country were filled to the brim with people to watch a game that would bring them to the quarterfinals. Although they lost, the atmosphere was amazing and the game was VERY exciting itself. All lead to a memorable night.

Somewhere over the past 6 years, I started becoming very apathetic towards caring about whether a team I like/liked won or lost. I recently realized that since August 2004, I have spent as many days outside of the United States as I have inside of it, so my ability to watch sports has been limited. Thus, my fandom has declined and I could really care less. Plus, I never cared about soccer.

But living in and loving life in Korea, I was really gunning for them to do well. A South Korea win, and a US win over Ghana, would have pitted those two teams against each other in what would have no doubt been an even more epic night. I guess I’ll never know what that night would’ve been like, but I am happy I got to experience the 4 other games which are well fun, whether they won or lost. I guess I’ll go back to my usual apathetic self, but I hope someday comes where I get a similar experience to the one I had the other night, only this time I hope my team wins. FIGHTING!

(minus points for drinking a little too much in front of my coworkers. Whoops. Oh well, it's happened before!)

World Cup Madness Part 1

Copyright Infringement in Korea

2010-06-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

Asia and bootleg are two words that frequently appear in the same sentence. Usually it's in regards to products, but in Korea it also happens with the names of bars, stores, etc. Let's check out some of my favorites...

I’m not expert on copyright infringement, but I’m pretty sure you can’t do the following things.

1. Name a store after an already existing brand that is known worldwide

2. Use the official logo of another company and simply change the name of your store/product

3. Name a store after one of the (if not the) most famous museums in the world

4. Create your own renditions of famous characters from tv/movies and pretend like it’s not a ripoff

5. Name a bar/store after a famous band

I like the Ting Tings and all, but I mean they are a new band. Queen is LEGENDARY and Jamiroquai is pretty famous. Seems like you're making a big leap naming it after a band that hasn't been out long and isn't a sure thing. Plus, the bar smells like a bathroom that's been urinated in a lot (with nothing ever going in the toilet) and never cleaned. That place is a hellhole and I never want to go back there. Ever.

6. Name a store after a famous video game.

7. Name a store/product off a famous movie or characters

8. Claim that you are a Hyatt hotel, when in fact you are just a "Love Motel" (gotta blog about these places eventually)

There's a bunch of fake Hilton's as well. Pretty sure the Hilton family got word of this and is suing.

I don't know how these places get away with it. I'm sure there will be crackdowns at some point, it will just be an easy way for these corporations/people who own trademarks/copyrights over these names to get some $ in a settlement. Until then, I'll laugh about all the funny places I see and will take pictures of them as well.

What is a "Couple T?"

2010-06-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

It didn’t take long for me to walk around Seoul my first weekend here and notice couples wearing the exact same shirt, or a shirt which looked like it was made for one person, cut in half, and sewn to make two shirts.

These are known as “couple t’s.” No surprise, couples wear them to show their affection for one another. It’s common to see people walking around them on random days, but if you go to a place like an amusement park, they are going to be out in full force. I’m not sure if it’s to make it easier to find someone, or, to show off to the other people/couples there that you two are serious. Here’s some more couple t’s...

People can also go the “couple jacket” route like you see below.

Or, you can go the couple OUTFIT route, where everything is the same.

They make some…inappropriate ones too….

There’s couple t stores which sell other stupid items like couple themed key chains, coffee mugs, etc. incase wearing a ridiculous t-shirt wasn’t enough. It’s pretty funny to see in person. I thought about getting it for some people as a wedding gift as a joke, but I passed.

Just a funny thing I noticed which is popular over here. That’s all.

What is Children's Day?

World Cup Madness in South Korea

2010-06-14T06:43:00.001-07:00

Confession, I haven’t watched a soccer game since the 2002 World Cup, ironically, that was the year South Korea hosted the World Cup. The atmosphere in South Korea back then was insane, here’s a picture of what the City Hall area looked like in 2002 as well as a picture of the stadium they built for the event.

How would this time compare in 2010? Well, probably nowhere nearly as popular/raucous, but since they show the games in public outside on huge televisions, I couldn’t help but check out the City Hall area in Gwanghwamun . Here’s some great clips of various things happening last Saturday night when they played Greece. Pre-game, during the game after a goal, post game celebration, and chaos on the streets. Make sure the sound is up. There’s fireworks, screaming, thunder sticks, musical instruments, etc.

There was also TONS of gear on sale. I picked up a soccer jersey(not worn here), bandana, soccer scarf, and these two amazing buttons.

Yes, I swear, that nice family DID want to take pictures with us.

AMAZING experience, and again, since drinking in public is legal, it made it all the more fun. Oh, and it was raining too. I was worried during the day that might kill the atmosphere or make less people come, but the rain actually made it more intense. Great night!

Next game is on Thursday, probably just watch it at a bar with my coworkers. Hopefully I behave myself in front of them.

The Korean Fan Death

2010-06-11T06:36:00.000-07:00

First I want to say there are many links on this topic posted by other people who talk about urban legends and point out ridiculous beliefs, so I can take no credit for the concept of this post. I just think it’s worth posting on here so my friends/family that check this out can learn about this topic.

So, I’ll just get straight to the point. It is believed by some people in South Korea that leaving a FAN on overnight can cause death. I’m not kidding. There’s some strange beliefs people over here have when it comes to health, usually centered around kimchi and how it can cure anything known to man. The fan death takes the cake though.

So, how can leaving a fan on overnight cause you to die? Here’s the 5 explanations:

"1. An electric fan creates a vortex, which sucks the oxygen from the enclosed and sealed room and creates a partial vacuum inside

2. An electric fan chops up all the oxygen particles in the air leaving none to breathe.

3. The fan uses up the oxygen in the room and creates fatal levels of carbon dioxide.

4. That if the fan is put directly in front of the face of the sleeping person, it will suck all the air away, preventing one from breathing

5. That fans contribute to hypothermia, or abnormally low body temperature. Metabolism slows down at night, so you become more sensitive to temperature, and thus more prone to hypothermia. If the fan is left on all night in a sealed and enclosed room, believers in fan death suppose that it will lower the temperature of the room to the point that it can cause hypothermia."

This isn’t just some internet BS that is circulated around either, even a government funded agency has issued a statement on the topic…

“The Korea Consumer Protection Board (KCPB), a South Korean government-funded public agency, issued a consumer safety alert in 2006 warning that "asphyxiation from electric fans and air conditioners" was among South Korea's five most common seasonal summer accidents or injuries, according to data they collected. Also included among the five hazards were air conditioner explosions and sanitation issues, including food poisoning and opportunistic pathogens harbored in air conditioners. The KCPB published the following:

If bodies are exposed to electric fans or air conditioners for too long, it causes [the] bodies to lose water and [causes] hypothermia. If directly in contact with [air current from] a fan, this could lead to death from [an] increase of carbon dioxide saturation concentration [sic] and decrease of oxygen concentration. The risks are higher for the elderly and patients with respiratory problems. From 2003 [to] 2005, a total of 20 cases were reported through the CISS involving asphyxiations caused by leaving electric fans and air conditioners on while sleeping. To prevent asphyxiation, timers should be set, wind direction should be rotated and doors should be left open.

So yeah, leave a fan on for two hours, and YOU MIGHT DIE. Most fans, such as my own, have a timer on them which prevents you from keeping the fan running for more than 2 hours.

This sucks A LOT when I am trying to sleep at night and it’s hot out.

Here’s a news report about a fan death happening, you won’t be able to understand the Korean, but the pictures say it all. (no bodies or anything shown, only a 30 second clip which has pictures mostly of fans)

This is one of the most ridiculous and unbelievable things I’ve ever heard, somewhere between Obama being a muslim who wasn’t born in the United States, and the people in Alabama who claimed they saw a Leprechaun.

Don't be mistaken, not every Korean believes this is true. However, a friend here has confirmed that he knows Koreans who believe this. One of his coworkers and one of his friends. I haven’t asked my coworkers or any Korean people I know what they think. I’m worried they’ll tell me they believe it and I won’t be able to speak to them anymore. Some things are better left unknown...

Amusement Parks in Korea Pt. 2: Lotte World

2010-06-10T06:12:00.001-07:00

I love amusement parks. I had a random day off in the fall and one this past week, and I used those days to check out the two biggest amusement parks in South Korea: Lotte World and Everland. Here’s part two covering Lotte World.

Lotte World is the largest indoor amusement park in the world (also has an outdoor section though too), conveniently located in Seoul.

The 3 funniest things about Lotte World…

1. GUN RANGE

Nothing says fun for the kids like a shooting range.

To dress it up a little bit, why not throw a cartoon character on the storefront with a gat in his hand? Come on in kids!

2. Rip off of Mickey and Minnie

Striking similarities no? They clearly ripped off the 2 feature Disney characters.

3. The misspelling of a relatively easy word.

It baffles me how many misspelled words I see over here. How much would it cost to have a native English speaker proof read all of your signage before you go into business? I understand for a small restaurant or store it’s an added cost which they might think is worth it, but Lotte World is part of a massive corporation, Lotte, which has $40 billion in revenue each year. And you don’t even have someone who can spell Italian right? Come on.

Lotte World was pretty cool though. Really nice Ice Skating rink, decent arcade, standard amusement park fare (churros, iced/sugary drinks, etc.), rides weren’t bad, pretty cheap to get in ($30), etc.

Honestly, this picture is ridiculous. Lucky shot by me.

I also managed to snag some nice videos while on the rides.

Lotte World is a spot worth visiting for anyone spending a year teaching in Korea. Try and pick a good day to go, I’m sure it gets mobbed on the weekends. Lotte World is at the Jamsil Station (#2 and #8 subway line).

Amusement Parks in Korea Pt. 1: Everland

2010-06-10T06:11:00.001-07:00

Everland is a bit of a ways from Seoul, but it’s the best amusement park in Korea. My favorite things about Everland…

1. Nice Zoo. I really, really like animals. Although I experience some cognitive dissonance about seeing them in a caged state, I still enjoy going to a zoo and watching them in person. I watched the monkeys for about an hour that day, maybe more...

2. Halloween theme. I also really like Halloween, and I know it’s not very popular outside of the US, so seeing the amusement park decorated with all Halloween stuff was cool.

3. NYC themed section. Only being away for a month, this was a nice way for me to experience some memories. There was a whole section dedicated to NY. Hot dog stands, traffic lights, parking meters, etc.

Not as many good pictures from Everland, but it was pretty fun and worth the trip…

Funny Signs: Part 3

2010-06-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

3rd Floor Store

DO NOT molest the fish

Bad Spelling

TERRIBLE spelling! It's the
restaurants cuisine for crying out loud

Yes, the should be Sharper Image

Funny because it says "testes"

Should say "Black Sauce"

Hookah

Pretty sure it's spelled "Banjo"

Spell the poor guy's name right if you're
using his picture/name to promote the store

Just funny

Bad Spelling

Funny Signs Part 1
Funny Signs Part 2

Tokyo

2010-06-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

Since the “time off” policy working at an academy in Korea can be quite brutal, I had to take full advantage of any day I had. So, when one of those days off coincided with the final weekend of a sumo wrestling tournament in Tokyo, I couldn’t resist (even though the flight/accommodation cost more than my 10 day trip to Costa Rica in 2008).

For those that know me, I’ve traveled quite a bit, and I must say Tokyo is one of the coolest cities I’ve been to. As a native New Yorker, to me, very few cities have a “vibe” which stand out in a way that makes them unique and enjoyable. Tokyo is one of those places. Cool bars, amazing food, shopping, street performers, busy streets, lot’s of lights, but also the possibility of quickly escaping it and finding some hole in the wall places to eat, drink, or see some Japanese culture.

I was mainly looking forward to this trip for these reasons (that I can mention): the sumo tournament, and food.

The food, was UNREAL. The best ramen, sushi, octopus, and chicken I’ve ever had. Between my trip to Vietnam, Taiwan and time in Korea, I’ve had some of the most memorable meals of my life in the past few months alone.

Sushi isn’t at the top of my list of favorite foods, but when I had the chance to spend $6 on one piece (fatty tuna, top left one on the white plate), I couldn’t resist. It was worth every bit. Just mouth watering.

RAW chicken (at Toriyoshi restaurant, a MUST if you go there). Despite having food poisoning twice, I had to try raw chicken. If it’s a popular dish and treated in a way which makes it safe to eat, then I should be okay too. Cured raw chicken is something I’ll probably never have a chance to eat again unless I’m in Japan. I’m sure there’s all types of regulations against such a thing in the US, and we pump our poultry with so many hormones, feed it so much crap and treat it so poorly I wonder if it’s even possible to eat raw. Trust me when I say this is one of the best things I’ve eaten. This restaurant in general was a place to go for chicken. Just ordered a bunch of different kinds of chicken, pigged out, and enjoyed some great cocktails as well.

Ramen is about as basic of a meal as you can eat in Japan, but the quality of it is top notch and unlike nothing I’ve had in Korea where it’s also a pretty popular dish. You can walk into just about any place, order ramen, and get a delicious meal.

I had “takoyaki” (fried octopus dumplings) when I went to Japan in 2004, and I didn’t like it. Tasted a bit rubbery. I decided to give it another go and it was phenomenal. Really enjoyed it, and you have to cook it yourself on a grill which is always fun.

Even though I’ve always loved food, I now have a new appreciation for it since I came to Asia. The freshness of the ingredients and slow method of cooking and preparing over here is something most people take for granted or ignore. I’ve got some new cookbooks, and will have taken a couple cooking classes (Vietnamese and Korean) before I head home. When I’m back, I’m adding some more meals to my repertoire.

Sumo was awesome! Here’s a couple gifs, pictures, and videos. The one of the final match featured a white person which I thought was funny. The video of that one is recorded from the TV which replayed it afterwards, gives a better view than the one we had from our seats.

Final Fight

Couple of Matches

Proudly sponsored by McDonald's

The indoor/outdoor hot spring and public bath was pretty sweet. I got to wear a Yukata, THROW NINJA STARS, take relaxing baths, enjoy a sauna, and get my feet eaten alive. “Dr. Fish” as they are called, eat dead skin and can actually help you if you suffer from eczema or other skin diseases on your foot. To me, this was just more junk science like fire cupping. It hurt like hell as these little rats gnawed at my feet.

Many of the bars/restaurants are so small they can only fit 10 people. Even if they are 2 stories, they are tiny as hell as you can see from these steep steps. Really cool atmosphere inside of this place (which took an hour to find). Nice décor, you get a fancy bell which you ring to have the bartender come to you and take your next drink order. Awesome.

Rain put a little damper on the trip, but it didn’t interfere with anything in the big picture. All in all it was a fantastic trip. Hopefully I get to go back to Tokyo. I highly recommend making a trip.

It’s all about Korea from here on out. There will be a swarm of posts in the coming weeks. They are already locked, loaded, and ready to go.

10 MORE Interesting Facts About Korea

2010-05-19T06:03:00.000-07:00

1. You can have custom phone rings on house phones, not just cell phones, and many people do. It’s extremely annoying. I have to call about 50 of my students once a month to give them a speaking test over the phone and every time I hear these ridiculous rings……..some are so ridiculous I actually like them, but still…

2. 99% of the people here obey traffic lights even if there’s no cars around. There’s a traffic light in my neighborhood that’s 3 minutes and 45 seconds long and people wait for them all the time. It’s all related to their respect for authority and doing what you’re told. I was out with a group and some of us crossed a street even though we didn’t have the light. A Korean friend told my American friend who stayed back “you follow the signs.” Plain and simple. Furthermore, NOT obeying the traffic light can get you into trouble. I found this out at 5am on my second weekend here when crossing the street in my town. I wasn’t waiting 3+ minutes to cross the street, I got screamed at by a cop (god knows why he was monitoring traffic crossings at 5am) but used the “new, stupid foreigner” card.

Want even more proof how serious they are about violating traffic code? (No, skip ahead) Well, in a particular popular music video, the singer is shown running freely across a street. That video is BANNED and not shown on one of the TV stations which shows music videos because he is shown violating “rules.” This has happened to a few music videos before too. Pretty intense.

3. Everyone here knows their blood type. They write about it in their school diary when they are talking about themselves, and they are shocked that I didn’t know mine (had to ask mommy for it) which they have asked for on many occasions.

4. A good percentage of bars and restaurants have buttons on the tables. You push a button, a screen near the kitchen area shows the table which is calling for attention, and within 5 seconds you’ll notice someone walking toward you to help you out with whatever you need. So, the waiters NEVER bother you, you are in no rush to leave. You need something, you push a button. You want to hang out for a while, you sit there and enjoy it. It’s great. I think it’s more efficient, and I like being left alone. “Double bonus,” as a former coworker would say.

5. They call ALL running races “marathons”

BG: “I used to run a lot, now, not so much.”

Guy: “Oh really, do you run a lot of marathons?”

BG: “Not a lot, I’ve ran 3”

Guy: “How long were they?”

BG: “Ummmm, 26.2 miles”

Marathon basically means a race. 5k marathon, 10k marathon, half marathon, full marathon.

6. My students were FLABBERGASTED that my mother didn’t live in NY where me, my brother and sister live (if my sister is reading this she’s loving that). They didn’t understand why my mother would move away from us, we’re not married, we don’t have kids, why would a parent leave their children? It’s just not something that gets done here. It’s quite common for people to live with their parents until they get married, and a parent moving far away from their kids was like someone willingly falling off the face of the earth and breaking contact with everyone they knew in the world. An hour or so away? No biggie, but a few hours by flight? They couldn’t believe it.

7. My bank has an ATM fee when I take money out of it, at my own bank! That fee is about 40 cents. Meanwhile, if it’s not my bank or if I’m at a convenience store, the ATM fee is only 80 cents. Much cheaper than the US, but still it’s weird my own bank charges me.

8. No drinking at concerts. This was appalling to me, even more so than the fact you can’t drink at most bowling alleys. I went to a concert not too long ago and you could only drink in the lobby area, no booze allowed in the venue. Unbelievable. There’s some pretty big inconsistency regarding Korea and drinking. In a way, it’s more of a drinking culture than the US. Many of the people are overworked, and going out and getting sloshed every night isn’t out of the ordinary. Some bars are open till 10am, drinking is allowed in public and even in cabs, yet I can’t drink at a concert? Weird.

9. Perfectly normal for kids to come to school sick. Unable to function in class? It’s okay, come to school. You won’t get anyone sick, just wear a face mask instead. Only exception is if someone has an illness at the time of a “pandemic” like bird flu, swine flu, or any other flu related to animals. Sick days are RARE, for school and work.

10. Chopsticks are used to eat just about everything, even cake. For some reason they cut cakes into slices, then just maul it with chopsticks even though no cutting is really needed if you’re eating it that way. Weird.

Facts about Korea part 1

Facts about Korea part 2

What Is Children's Day?

2010-05-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

Children’s Day, pronounced “oh-ree-nee-nal,” in Korean, began in 1923 and has been a national holiday ever since. Children’s Day is for, you guessed it, the children. Children’s Day didn’t originate because the kids work like dogs in school , face unreasonable expectations and have an insane amount of pressure put on them, but at least now they have one day a year where their efforts are rewarded.

Kids get gifts on Children’s Day and it’s pretty common for them to have picnics and/or go out to dinner with their parents to enjoy a nice meal. All my students were all bragging about their steak dinners, cakes, etc. the next day at school. Lot’s of kids will go see a movie with their parents and friends, lucky kids will go shopping and buy new clothes or a game, and really lucky kids will go to the zoo or amusement park. Going to a zoo or amusement park on a day where every kid and their parents have off and everyone wants to do something special, is never a good idea. My Vice Principal told me he spent an hour parking, 12 hours in total point to point on a trip to the zoo. I felt bad for him even though I don’t have kids, and felt horrible knowing my siblings and I probably caused hell in car rides on day trips like that (sometimes even now still).

Children’s Day comes with a catch though, Parents Day, takes place just three days later, meaning any nice deed done for the kids must be repaid in just a few days. (I didn’t know this, but we also have Parents Day and Children’s Day in the US, they aren’t holidays, but there are officially days with those designation.)

“Hagwons” (private, after schools like the one I work at) aren’t closed very often so it was great having a nice break in the middle of the week…humpday no less. While most other teachers here with a brain went out the night before, or did something fun outside on their day off. I woke up at 7am so I could travel 2 hours from where I live to volunteer at an orphanage. I always do go against the grain…

At the orphanage, we cleaned, made lunch, and played with the kids. Unfortunately I am legally not allowed to show their pictures, but I can blur the hell out of them like I did below.

The kids seemed pretty excited for us to be there…except one of them, who was a bit moody to say the least. Taking swings at the volunteers and throwing his toy car around were just some of the signs of his unpleasant temperament. I was interested in solving this dilemma, and I quickly managed to tame the beast. I took a picture of him, showed it to him, and he loved it. He demanded the camera from me and started screaming until he got it. So, I gave it to him, and for the next 2 hours I was on a seesaw, pushing him around the park on a bike, feeding him, etc…all while he had my camera in one hand, and I was holding on to the camera cord with my free hand, petrified it would get smashed on the ground.

I made a friend for the day, stopped someone from throwing fits for a few hours, and got about 60 of the same pictures on my camera, all of which he enjoyed the hell out of seeing over and over again. It was a good day...

Things My Kids Made/Drew For Me

2010-04-28T07:22:00.000-07:00

It's rare if a week goes by where I don't have a bunch of things given to me or many things drawn or written about me. Kids will just put something on my desk, draw a picture and show it to me, write on the board before I come to class, etc. Some things are very unflattering and some are very kind (repeated "I love you" comments).

Either way, here's a collection of some of my favorites. Props to Julie London for this all time classic track.

Korean Kids Really Like to...

2010-04-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

…try and stick their fingers up my butt. Yes…Really…Everyday…Multiple times.

I mentioned weird obsessions they have in another post, but this one takes the cake.

A day rarely goes by when someone doesn’t try to poke me in the butt from behind when I’m not looking. It’s a “practical joke” and basically the Asian version of the wedgie. The name for it in Korea is "ddong chim." Ddong chim is translated to mean “poop needle,” and that’s what the kids say when they try it. “DDONG CHIM!!” (finger flies in from behind) Remember when I told you they like to draw pictures of ddong (poop)? Well, this is a lot worse and weirder than that.

I’m sure this is confusing to you, and you’re probably asking yourself “Ben, why don’t you tell the kids to stop?” Well, I have two options: 1. laugh it off and smack their hand away 2. Make a big stink about it, drag one of the kids into the principals office, have them get screamed at and have their parents are notified. The kid will now hate me, probably get hit by his parents and won’t listen to me for a while. The principal will then tell the Korean teachers to make sure no one does ddong chim anymore, and with that I’m officially a 27 year old baby. All the kids will make fun of me behind my back, actually they will say it right to my face in Korean, “Ben teacher ruined ddong chim” or “Ben teacher got ______ student in trouble and he told the principal, what a baby.” I’ll take #1.

I catch students 90% of the time before they do it anyway. When they do manage to pull it off, I give them a gentle shot to the arm, a light tap over the head with my book, or just say “today, test” and listen to them scream and say sorry. It’s just enough to hopefully make them realize not to do it anymore, but not enough to strike fear into them.

So, how do they manage to do this? It usually happens when I’m at the copy machine, or for the younger classes (who are hyper and move around sometimes due to being on lockdown at their elementary school) when I am at the board and my back is facing them.

There’s 4 common ways the students try and stick their finger up my butt…

1. Put both hands together like you’re clapping, fold in your pinky, ring and middle finger, you will now have a shape like a gun. Insert finger.

2. Put both hands together like you're clapping. Insert hand.

3. Hold both hands in the air with your fingers facing forward. Make sure they are parallel to each other but a few inches apart, and make a motion like you would to warm your hands up.

4. Stand next to someone, turn your head and look like you’re having a conversation with them, reach around and stick your index finger in.

When I say it’s popular here, I mean, all the kids do it around the country. They really think it’s the funniest thing in the world, and, there’s also statues dedicated to it. Check it out…

Two choice quotes on the matter from the always reliable Wikipedia…

“While the practice is known in South Korea, there have been cases where adults performing it have been arrested.”

“In February 2006, Nanmon Kaiketsu (Solving Difficult Problems), an NHK TV show about social problems, speculated that the long-term leniency of Kancho (the Japanese name for ddong chim) is an indirect cause of the rampant train gropings across Japan.”

I’m going to Tokyo for a weekend in May, and if someone does it to me in public, well, I might end up back in the US before my contract is over. Handcuffs and all.

Interesting Facts About Korean Schools

2010-04-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

1. Kindergarten is not mandatory, therefore if a student goes to one they are private schools

2. Kindergarten is for kids aged 5-7

3. Elementary school students go to school for only about 5 hours a day

4. Although elementary school doesn’t have long hours, a high number of students go to “academies” after school (like the one I teach at). There are Math, English, Science academies, but if a student goes to piano lessons daily they call that an academy as well.

5. Some parents (like my principal) send their kids to a number of “academies.” My prinicipal’s son goes to SEVEN: English, Math, Science, Essay Writing, Piano, ‘All Subjects,’ and Chinese Calligraphy. The total cost for this is $1,700 per month. His hours are generally 7:30am-10pm and on Saturdays he has about 5 hours worth of school. I’m not kidding. What a tough life.

6. English is required to be taught in elementary schools from the age of 10

7. It’s not out of the ordinary for students to be physically punished if they act up or don’t do homework.

8. Students go to their public schools on the weekends too. However, they only have it on Saturdays every other week, and it’s only half of a day.

9. The majority of middle schools (for students age 13-15) have strict uniform and hair cutting policies

10. Elementary schools have about 30 kids in each class

11. Middle schools have about 40 kids in each class. That’s a lot of students.

12. The students do not go from class to class, they stay in the same class in their seats and the teachers switch rooms

13. There’s a breast pocket on the middle school students’ uniforms where they put a flap which has their name on it. Yes, there are basically nametags for each student in school. (“NAME TAGS JERRY!”)

14. The school year begins in March, not September like we’re used to in the U.S.

15. Since school is year round, they don’t have a big break before they enter their new grade, but they do have a summer, winter and spring break. Spring vacation happens about 3-4 weeks after Winter vacation ends which is weird.

16. A standard day for elementary school kids is about 5 hours long

17. A standard day for middle school kids is about 8 hours long

18. A standard day for the majority of High Schools is about 12 hours. Sometimes longer. I’m not kidding.

19. In Middle School and High School, the students often take a high number of classes, up to 11 subjects.

20. As if High School wasn’t demanding enough, the Korean version of the SATs is apparently one of the most difficult standardized tests in the world. Here’s a bunch of facts on that test alone…

a. Some parents make their kids start studying for it before they even get to middle school.

b. The test takes place on the same day every year, the second Thursday of November

c. All students take the exam the same day

d. The exam lasts about 9 and a half hours. No kidding.

e. Because everyone of the same age is doing the same thing at the same time on the same day. Traffic problems occur which lead to

i. Extra buses/trains running during those hours before/after the exam

ii. Workers allowed to show up an hour later to limit traffic

f. Having a quiet and peaceful atmosphere is essential as well, which leads to

i. A ban on honking horns near schools

ii. Flight schedules are changed

iii. Protests of any kind should not happen

g.Students get treated like GODS on this day

i. Parents will usually bring their kids to school, and there will be loads of people outside CHEERING kids on as they enter the school. “COME ON BEN, ACE THAT EXAM!!!”

ii. Underclassmen and past graduates might show up as well to show support.

iii. People will be handing out candy, tea, coffee, etc. to people as they walk in, to give them a little energy before the stressful day starts

iv. Taxi’s might give students free taxi rides

h. The test isn’t the be all and end all of your success, but if you get into a top University, you’re on cruise control from there on out. Just like they can be obsessed with personal appearance, the name of the school on your diploma carries a lot of weight from what I’ve read, more so than it does back in the US.

Although I’m envious that many of my students speak pretty good English AND can play an instrument or two, I’m certainly put off a little bit by what it takes for them to get there.

What does all this stress lead to? Well, here’s a direct quote from a website I found…

“Suicide and the CSAT - Because everything rides on this one exam, this one day, it is not surprising that there are suicides before and after the test, or when the results are published. Some students, convinced they will not do well, chose to die rather than take the exam. Although the highest number of suicides use to happen in December, these days they happen earlier since the answers are posted on-line hours after the test is over.”

Yikes.

Koreans are OBSESSED with personal appearance…

2010-04-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

…and they have no problems openly discussing it to you whether they just met you or not. I’ve mentioned the “handsome” thing before, (I stopped counting, it got old). But it goes beyond that…

Whether they’re telling you good things or bad things, whether it’s people you know or don’t know, it just doesn’t matter. It’s like it’s ingrained in them to be extremely aware of your personal appearance and they also have no qualms about saying what’s on their mind…

The Students…

Have no problem telling you unflattering things about yourself…You have a tall nose…Teacher your head has many lines on it…Very red and bad looking (kid points to a blemish on my face)…Your forehead looks like a gorilla…Your head is big…Your hair is gray like a grandfather’s…Your eyes are blue, it’s scary…Your face has many spots on it (referring to my freckles)…Your arm is hairy like animal…Your nose looks like a dragon (when my nostrils flare) All direct quotes. I could go on, but that’s all I can remember.

Students have called us old (not too bad), but also have made remarks about us being fat and ugly. I laugh it off considering I way a buck-fifty, but my female coworker might not (does not actually) take kindly to. A friend of mine also told me a student at his school pointed to his female coworkers’ stomach and asked if she was pregnant…she was not. I’m sure that stung a little.

They also don’t mind calling you handsome or cute…even the boys. It’s a little weird having a bunch of 12 year olds write in there diary’s that they think you are attractive. I was talking to one of my older classes about sports and when I told them I work out a lot they asked me to pick up my shirt to see if I had a six pack, or “chocolate pack” (I guess because of the way a chocolate bar has cubed pieces you can break apart). This was very odd and I obviously changed the subject and wanted no part of something that would get me fired in a second in the United States.

A day usually doesn’t go by where I don’t hear a comment from my students related to my appearance.

The Coworkers…

Have no problem asking somewhat awkward questions or even making comments that are borderline inappropriate. If mentioning you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, the first thing they have said is “is he/she beautiful/handsome?” I’m not sure if this question has ever gotten a response other than “yes.” Weird it would even be asked.

Furthermore, when my new coworker was hired, the principal said to me “for you, maybe I hope she is very beautiful.” I can’t imagine an employer back home saying that, it’s probably a fire-able offense.

It was also weird that I had to send TWO PICTURES in with my resume before I had an interview. One was a headshot, and the other was a full shot of my body. This is standard procedure for jobs over here.

Last week my coworkers boyfriend told her that I “lost weight and didn’t look good.” Keep in mind he has only seen me twice, the first time was in September and the second time when he made this comment which was 6 months later. He also made the comment after seeing me from across the street, at night, as I exited school and walked home. Not sure how he could make such a comment given the circumstances, either way, I don’t know why anyone would say such a thing.

The People you meet…

It’s funny, but a little awkward as well, hearing little kids (or even grownups) point at you and call you handsome randomly when you’re walking around. They’re sizing you up from the second they see you.

Also, a little awkward when COUPLES make comments about you. I’ve had situations where couples were together, and the man or woman have said something to me. Just a random shout out on the street “you are handsome” and they keep walking. I don’t know what’s weirder, the girl saying that in front of her boyfriend, or the guy saying it to me?

I can’t complain, I guess I should be flattered the majority of comments I get from people and students (the ones who aren’t just trying to piss me off) are positive, however I must say I have seen some VERY attractive Korean females with very unattractive foreigners, so maybe the standards here are lower?

Either way, it doesn’t bother me when the bad ones come, and I don’t think much of it when the good ones come, but it’s just interesting it happens so often in all types of scenarios. Image is everything here in a way.

10 More Interesting Korean Cultural Facts

2010-03-26T06:23:00.001-07:00

1. It is completely normal for students to call there teacher "(first name) Teacher." Not Mr. Gwynne, or anything else, just "Ben Teacher." I am a teacher, therefore they refer to me as one as a sign of respect for authority. They call the Korean teachers "Native Teacher." Furthermore, even my coworkers call the Principal…."Principal" and the Vice Principal…"Vice Principal." This carries on at places even like the GYM, a place which is pretty informal and friendly. People call the guy who works at my gym "trainer."

2. Drinking is NOT permitted in 99% of bowling alleys in Korea. I always assumed bowling and drinking went hand in hand, but not here. Here, it’s a "family atmosphere" so no drinking allowed. Some places have separate rooms that have vending machines with beer, but you can’t bring the beer down to the bowling alley. One place just opened up a few months ago that has a huge bar and is a traditional bowling alley like they have back in the US, however the place is a mob scene at night now. I hope they open more…

3. The word "perm" can be used as a verb in Korea. "I was late for class because I was perming my hair."

4. Bare feet are "offensive" to some elderly people. For this reason, most people wear socks with sandals if they are walking around with them outside. If you were to go to a restaurant with sockless sandals, you would be disgracing the place to no end (yourself as well).

5. After meals when using a toothpick in Korea, the correct method is to use one hand to cover your mouth, and the other one has the toothpick in it.

6. Usually, one person (customarily it’s the oldest) pays for drinks/dinner when you go out with your coworkers. Splitting the bill doesn’t happen much. I went out with my coworkers for drinks one night, we drank a lot and ordered some food, the Vice Principal footed the bill even though he didn’t drink and barely ate. No one flinched when the bill came, he paid for it as they expected him too.

6a) Another time at a bar, the head teacher (the oldest person with us this time) tried paying for the bill even though I was burying beer after beer. I hopped in paid half since I make more than them and was being a "tank" as they called me. It was outrageous to me that she was trying to pay for it even though half the bill was mine.

7. There are 4 seasons in Korea, and they pride themselves on it. All the students know it and write about it quite frequently. To be fair there is a real spring, summer, fall, and winter, unlike in NY and other places where sometimes an entire season gets skipped over.

8. There is no daylight savings time in Korea.

9. Things can be purchased and ordered without using a credit card. It’s quite common that places over the phone will place your offer and just expect you to wire them the money. What a sense of honor.

10. At many restaurants, the bill is placed on your menu right after you order. If you ask for something else, they just write it onto the bill. You also pay for the bill by bringing the receipt to the front of the restaurant, you don’t pay the waiter and wait for change. It's great, no waiting.

Part 1

Kids Say The Darndest Things: South Korean Version Volume III

2010-03-24T07:30:00.000-07:00

Diary Topic: Korea Vs. Japan

Korea and Japan have a pretty contentious history. Mainly due to…

1. Dispute over an island called “Dokdo”
2. Nearly 4 decades in the 20th century where Japan ruled Korea
3. Upwards of 200,000 women in Korea forced to be sex slaves for Japan during WWII

…and a lot more to be honest. It’s interesting to get the kids take on it, since they are 11-13 years old and writing in another language. I had some free time in one of my classes a month or two ago and asked the kids where in the world they would go if I gave them 10,000,000 Korean Won (about $8,500 I think) and one of the kids said Japan, so I asked why and he said…

“Teacher come here, I show you”
I walk towards him, he points to a map he drew in his book of Japan with a giant circle around it…
“Bomb here…” points to the middle of Japan “boom” points to the circle around Japan he drew which is apparently the blast radius. Wow.

In no way, shape, or form am I making fun of the students' English, I sure as hell didn’t know any foreign languages when I was 11 or 12 years old, I’m simply pointing out funny things I’ve read from them that's all. The following are all direct quotes...

“Japan people bad because fight Koreans. Japan afflicts and Korean girls sexual harassment. Japan people very very bad. Japan mans are most bald. Japan people most a snaggletooth. Japan people plain features. Japan people are not stylish.”

“Korea vs. Japan is not interesting because Korea never lose. Korea food is delicious and Japanese food is not. Korea’s soccer is good and Japan’s soccer is not good. I love Korea, Korea is good.”

“Korea is very hurry. Nowadays Korean food is simple but Korean have good relationship it is good make friends. Japanese is very bad. Japanese sometimes tell a lie so I hate Japanese and I hate Japan.”

“Japan is advanced than Korea. Japan is bad because they attochcked us. So many people think Japan is bad. I like written bread.”

“Japan steal East Sea. Japan steal kimchi. Japan is still everything Korean people and hurt. I don’t like Japan.”

“Many Korea person doesn’t like Japan because in old times Japan person kill and afflict the Korea person. The Korean young person went Japan war and died. Also, Dokdo is Koreas land. But Japan insistence Dokdo is Japans land and changed Dokdo name! Dokdo is our land! Also, the East Sea, but Japan turned to Japan Sea. It is not fact! It is fabrication!”

“I love Korea because it’s my country but I don’t like Japan. Because a time Japanese imperialism however they are good at instruments. I like their animation characters. I have an example, I like Belpheger. I wonder why my country don’t have animation characters. If not imperialism, I love Japan, but I don’t like Japan but their animation. Other it’s bad.”

“I think about Korea vs. Japan. I don’t like Japan people because Japan people selfish. Very very selfish. They say Dokdo is in Japan. Japan is strange. I want Japan die.”

“Sometime, from one thousand nine fifty five, Korea and Japan had a soccer game to figure out who will get third and fourth place. At the second half of the game, the impresario and the coach both forced to leave, nevertheless we did not lose hope and went on until the overgame the shootout and at the end we won. Koreas vs. Japan is Korea won.”

“I don’t dislike Japan because bygone days, Japan plundered Korea but it is bygone. Bygone days is not today and there are Japaneses all of like Korea however most Koreans dislike Japanese. I think “World is only one.” Is the world will doesn’t a fight, world will does develop. Someday Korea will like Japan.”

“Korea is very favorite state because my is Korea Born. But Japan very god because my favorite music Japan music. Korea many music but Japan music sad music and happy music and powerful music. I think Japan is my other favorite country.”

Those are mostly pretty strong opinions for such young kids, I wonder how they are taught those things in school or at home from their parents, and when (or if) those feelings begin to go away.

Volume II
Volume I
Diary Topic About their teacher

St. Patrick's Day in Korea

2010-03-22T18:59:00.000-07:00

None of my students ever heard of St. Patrick or his parade, neither did my Korean coworkers, but there’s loads of English teachers in Korea and that includes a decent sized Irish contingency. Anywhere there’s Irish people, there has to be a St. Patrick’s Day Parade. So, Korea, its government and its people did their best to provide an authentic St. Patrick’s Day experience for foreigners and locals alike…

The St. Patrick’s Day parade took place around the Cheonggyecheon stream which runs through the center of Seoul. Imagine a nice little walkway like this going down Broadway in Manhattan for a bit. The parade route was probably half a mile around the stream.

Nothing too crazy, one free Guinness for everyone, a makeshift golf driving range, face painting, music, Motorcycle gangs, dancing, rappers, the usual.........

Destination: Taipei 101

2010-02-18T07:06:00.000-08:00

Let’s just get ‘fire cupping’ out of the way.

BEFORE.......................................... AFTER

Fire Cupping is an ancient for of medicine which originated over 5,000 years ago. The procedure is as follows…

1. Loosen muscles around the back/shoulders by giving a ‘massage’
2. Place glass cup, with the opening on the back, against the skin
3. Attach a suction pump to the nozzle which is on the bottom of the glass
4. Pump until air is sucked out of the cup. This acts like a vacuum, now a lot of air has been released. This is what causes the ‘discoloration.’
5. Remove cups

As you can see that despite the name, there’s no fire involved, but that’s only because of modern technology. Back in the day, from 3,000 B.C.-2000 A.D., the air would be removed from the cups by applying heat from fire.

People believe(d) this can cure illnesses (ranging from minor to major) and is a way to relax, even invigorate your body. I found this to be extremely painful, both the massage part and applying the cups. If the person doing this to me was deaf I would’ve been moaning louder than I was last weekend when I had food poisoning. The only pleasure I felt was when it was over. What a crock of BS, this does nothing at all.

Food ended up being a pretty big part of the trip…

As you can see from the picture, there’s some pretty nasty things I ate at ‘Snake Alley.’ I’m not sure if she said ‘Snake PENIS’ or ‘Snake PISS,’ either way it’s gross. Nothing was that rancid, I’m pretty sure everything was diluted so it wouldn’t be toxic. Way too much cash to make off tourists, however there were loads of Taiwanese people in the place eating and drinking everything like it was a regular thing they did. Weird. This didn’t taste horrible, but not good either. Some other meals I had were phenomenal though…

Modern Toilet was also a rather unique establishment. A restaurant where everything is about toilets. Everything. From the table, the dishes you eat from, the chairs you sit on, the crap shaped ice cream, etc., this place lives up to its name.

Sure it’s a cheesy place which is an obligatory stop for any tourist, but the food wasn’t bad and it brought some humor to the day.

Din Tai Fung is home to the best dumplings I’ve ever eaten in my life. Hands down. I was in heaven at this place and the only communication problem I encountered on the entire trip was telling them I did want 20 dumplings, 8 wontons and soup. There is always a line outside of this place and for just cause. Aside from going up Taipei 101, I’m going to have to say this is the next on the list of things you must do if you ever go to Taipei.

What else did I do besides eat from toilet bowls, nearly vomit from overeating dumplings, get tortured and drink snake bile? Well, there was going to Taipei 101 which is the 2nd tallest building in the world (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), going to the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), the Longshan Temple (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), and Daan Park (no pictures available due to it raining everyday). The weather was horrific. I couldn’t go to the zoo, the National Palace Museum was closed both times I tried to go to it, I was forced to watch a movie (Wolfman was more painful than fire cupping), and rain cut down on the number of fireworks (it was the Chinese New Year). I was most certainly being punished with bad weather by Confucius for reasons I cannot get into.

Going to the top of Taipei 101 was pretty cool because the elevator is the fastest in the world. It goes 60km/hour (37.4 MPH for those who live in America, Burma and Liberia and don’t use the metric system). That means it travels to the top (1,671 feet) in 35 seconds, that’s 55 feet per SECOND. Intense.

I also managed to find a GREAT tea shop and an outdoor thermal hot-spring which was very relaxing even though the weather sucked. As if I didn’t stand out enough being the only non-Taiwanese person there, I got whistled by a 75 year old ‘lifeguard’ for doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. I suck.

Aside from the Taipei 101 elevator, food and the hot spring, the trip was a pretty big failure. Still, I’m glad I went, now there’s only 180 more countries to visit.

Valentine's Day in Korea

2010-02-16T06:54:00.000-08:00

In the United States, Valentine’s Day is mainly a day catered to females. Men are responsible for planning dates, getting flowers, getting the right gift, etc. A botched Valentine’s Day for someone in a relationship or trying to get into one can cause everything to fall apart. For single people, it’s a time to reminisce about past loves, mope about being single, or go out to singles themed nights at bars.

In Korea, Valentine’s Day is ‘celebrated’ completely differently; it’s all but a meaningless holiday. The attitude towards it seems on par with the attitude people have towards Pancake Day in America, they might know it’s there, but most do nothing about it. (God I love Pancake Day)

Dinner reservations aren’t difficult to get. Kids don’t cut out hearts at school and give them to people. Stores aren’t overrun with boxes of chocolate or cards, and you sure as hell won’t find those heart shaped pieces of sugar which say cheesy phrases on them. Pretty lame.

So, you might be wondering, ‘what about flowers?’ Ahh yes, the obligatory item on Valentine’s Day. Well, if one were so inclined, they could get 3 dozen roses for just over $45. Cheap! However, the only problem you’d have in actually getting the flowers is that since the school semester ends around this time, a lot of flowers are being ordered for the kids so they might be short on supply. I’m not kidding, this is the reasoning one would be given if they were so inclined to order flowers, weird, but if one of your students parents owns a flower shop they might help you out.

The ‘protocol’ on Valentine’s Day here is as follows: Women give chocolate to a man they like. The always trustworthy Wikipedia has informed me that women give two types of chocolate out: Type one, a cheap store bought kind which is given as a courtesy goes to all the men in their life. Type two is fancier or sometimes even ‘homemade chocolate’ (I call BS on that Wikipedia) which is given to the men they are interested in. That’s it.

So what about the men? What do the men do? Well, one month later, on March 14th, is ‘White Day,’ where it’s the guys turn to give chocolate back to the women who gave it to them. Honestly this sounds like more bologna. A month goes by and you’re giving a piece of damn chocolate back to the girl? Even Footloose seems less prude than this.

What if you’re a sad mess who got nothing? Well, luckily Korea has a day for you too! Actually, they have a made up holiday every month for couples and have attached meaningless significance (incredible oxymoron right there) to each:

- April 14th – Black Day, where all the losers who got no love on Valentine’s Day dress in black to wallow in their self pity and enjoy each others’ miserable company.

- May 14th – Rose Day, couples are supposed to give each other roses.

- June 14th – Kiss Day, couples kiss each other to confirm there love. All kisses on other days throughout the year are hereby insignificant?

- July 14th – Silver Day, couples exchange silver jewelry, usually rings, to confirm their love

- August 14th – Green Day, a mockery of the debauchery which occurs on St. Patrick’s Day. Couples wear green. Lot’s of Soju is sold today because it comes in green bottles. No Irish people are around disgracing themselves. Very sad.

- September 14th – Photo/Music Day, couples give each other CDs to confirm their love. They also take pictures with each other and go out to the Noraebang’s (singing/karaoke rooms). What bull, Koreans do this every weekend.

- October 14th - Wine Day, couples drink wine together.

- November 14th – Movie Day, couples see a movie together. Is this getting repetitive?

- December 14th – Hug Day, couples hug each other then break up. Actually they just hug each other to express their love and show that they are providing warmth to each other as the cold winter approaches.

- January 14th – Diary Day, couples give each other diary’s so they can write about all the boring holiday experiences they have in the year ahead.

These are all unofficial holidays that are designed to increase consumerism. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also Pepero Day on November 11th which I've talked about before.

You water down something enough and the significance is lost. I reckon the amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day in America blows away the amount of money Korean consumers spend on these holidays. No contest.

So yeah, Valentine’s Day is totally lame here. No money is wasted on unnecessary gifts, no grief for the lonely and heartbroken, no jealousy, no fights about not going to great lengths to make the day special, etc. Come to think of it…it’s excellent. Good job Korea.

What Happens When English Teachers Edit Korean Text Books?

2010-02-11T07:30:00.001-08:00

I haven't been short of anything to write about, just really busy lately. Next week I'll be starting off a solid stretch of weeks with 3 posts for sure.

Check out this eye chart which was found in a English text book over at a school in Korea. Look at the acronyms and tell me if you find anything fishy.

Spot anything? Well, for you newbs (people who don’t know much about something) to internet slang, I’ll break down everything in the eye chart picture from top to bottom…

Line 1&2: OMG – Oh My God

Line 3: W2F – What The F***

Line 4: STFU – Shut The F*** Up

Line 5: PWN3D – This is internet slang for “you got owned.” Usually it’s said by people who play World of Warcraft and such.

Line 6: URAN00B – You are a n00b. Similar, but not the same as “newb.” In this case, the spelling is different, and it means you are not only a fool who knows nothing, but you are somewhat aware of your ignorance and have no plans on trying to escape it.

Line 7: LMAOROTF – Laughing My Ass Off Rolling On The Floor

Pretty embarrassing if you ask me.

You might wonder how something like this happens. Well, a lot of times teachers here are given a lot of responsibility and are held to high standards. This responsibility might involve helping create/proof read a text book that your school is going to publish (hasn’t happened to me yet), or teaching less than 24 hours after arriving even though you have no experience and were given two hours of “training” in an extremely jetlagged/hungover state (this happened to me).

Might never find out who threw that in the text book, but I do think it’s a bit immature…even if I did LOL(laugh out loud) when I saw it.

Destination: Hwacheon Sancheoneo Festival

2010-01-20T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hwacheon, located in the Gangwon-do province, is one of the northern most parts of South Korea. Every January it plays host to the Sancheoneo (mountain trout) Festival for three weeks. During this time, over one million people head to Hwacheon to fish and take part in all of the festivities.

Festival pictures

This past weekend I went to Hwacheon for the Sancheoneo Festival. Here are the available activities for the festival:

- Ice Fishing
- Riding All Terrain Vehicles on the ice
- Ice Skating
- Sledding
- Ice Soccer
- Jumping into a pool of frozen water for bare-hand fishing

Here’s the activities I did at the festival:

- Drinking and eating ridiculous quantities of alcohol and food with a group of 50 year old Koreans for five hours (this activity is not listed in the festival brochure)

Some of the Koreans I was with and the fish they caught and ate

Koreans, as a whole, are some of the most friendly people I’ve ever met in my life, hands down. I stopped ice fishing after two seconds to look for bait (thousands of people were fishing with no bait, I needed to get a leg up because no one was catching anything). Shortly after my search began I was pulled over by some Koreans and was TOLD to start drinking and eating. It was 11am after all, how could I refuse?

So the booze came out in full force, and the sancheoneo (mountain trout) which they caught earlier that morning was phenomenal, was maybe the best fish I’ve ever had. Then there was sashimi (raw seafood), galbi (barbecued pork ribs), samgyeopsal (fat slices of pork belly), it was a feast. We were barbecuing for the entire time I was there, and washing it down with mekju (beer), soju (Korean liquor made from rice) and some (soju and beer mixed). Impromptu singing and dancing ensued, I was engaging in long-winded tales of me being a father, and one of the other teachers who managed to find the group of people I was with was escorted away in a golf cart by the festival medics (too drunk obviously). Ahhh, good times.

FEED ME NOW and How did I not end up in this water?

So I missed out on everything and have a vague (being quite generous) memory of the day. Some might say I completed ruined the day for myself (or the Koreans who forced me to drink did), but I reckon I had a better time than most of the other people who went.

Some guy with fish head. Maybe Mayor of festival? I bet I was being a wise ass.

I hope I'm as cool as this guy when I'm in my 50s, no joke.

After we left the festival. We headed to our quarters for the night where we ate some more, had a bonfire, and then played some drinking games. Good stuff, and even if I did end up essentially ruining the entire purpose of the festival for myself (or do I blame the Koreans who forced me to drink?) Either way, good times.

Beds, possessed moose, dinner table, bonfire

What is a DVD Bang?

2010-01-18T07:07:00.000-08:00

Watch and find out.

What is Krumping?
What is the DMZ?
What is Soju?

8 days in Vietnam

2010-01-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

I actually spent 9 days in Vietnam, but I’m not counting the first day because of a near incident with a guy in a bar we went to. Even though we were minding our own business and just drinking, the guy (must have been a pimp since he was with a group of scantily clad/trashy girls) was looking for trouble because we’re foreigners in “his country” and El Gestapo in the bar was itching to arrest/shake us down but we avoided trouble (this story is true). So yeah, that day doesn’t count…

Day 1 – Cooking Class. Yeah, I can carve tomato's into roses, make great spring rolls and some delicious caramelized pork. No big deal.

Day 2 - Water park. Didn’t think a city like Saigon would have a pretty sweet (and dangerous) waterpark, but it was fun. Loads of little kids all over running up to us to scream "hello" and "what's your name?" then run away. Helps being one of the few white people in the place.

Day 3 – Headed back to the beach in Nha Trang to chill for a few days. Snorkeling: always a blast, especially when mixed with a few beers and so is jumping off boats.

Day 4 – Mopeds and Waterfalls. Nothing beats racing around a city on mopeds, then off-roading it to some isolated waterfalls that only locals were at to do some cliff jumping.

Day 5 – NYE Party. Pshhhh, pretty good party to get ready before the party. 5 bottles of champagne, wine, lots of beer, good company, and an awesome hotel room.

Day 6 – Recovering from the aftermath, chilling at the pool, giving my auto-cyclo driver a break from his job, ridiculous meal that cost $3.50 for 2 beers and 3 plates of chicken/rice and soup…TOTAL

Day 7 – Mopeds, nice white sand beach with not a single tourist in sight. Just locals. Also had the best crabs I’ve ever tasted in my life, lunch later on at the best Pho I’ve ever had as well. Amazing cuisine on this trip, etched in my memory forever.

Day 8 – Left Nha Trang for the Mekong Delta...Ehh, nothing special here really. Got to see how coconut candy and rice paper is made. Also got to hold some damn bees.

3 days after I leave Vietnam

Day 1 – Horrible Snowstorm as I mentioned in my last post below.

Day 2 – (got my first real haircut since August, nice and short as it usually is and I got the following comments) “Now you have Obama head.” Another student said that my “short hair make nose look taller.” A number of other students just pointed at me and screamed when I walked into the classroom. This was all because of a haircut. I can only imagine what would happen if I walked into class with some sort of facial deformity that I suffered. Would the students still ridicule me for the change in my features if I have no control over it? I think they would.

Day 3 – Other students said that my “face looks brown now” and between my short hair and tan I was asked “are you new teacher?” I’m not kidding.

All settled in now. Back to business as usual in a few days on here…

What Happens When A Blizzard Hits Korea?

2010-01-03T23:10:00.000-08:00

What a way to return from a vacation…

- About 24 hours after being on the beach, I look out the window of my plane to see a snowstorm, and realize we are about to land despite the runway not being plowed. Less than 100 feet from the ground, the pilot pulled up and made a move that Maverick did in Top Gun when deciding to not land last minute despite being low on fuel so he could save Cougar. Twenty minutes later, we land on the snow…somehow.

- Then I was heading home in jeans and a t-shirt despite it being a near blizzard outside. It was tough getting a cab (I think a lot of them take the day off in the snow?) leaving the buses crowded and in turmoil.

- Incheon (Korea maybe in general) is not equipped to deal with snow. They don’t get much of it where I am, and in Seoul they reported it was the heaviest recorded snowfall amount EVER!! Not many people have SUVs, I didn't see any snowplows on the highway today, and people were “shoveling” their stores and cars with BROOMS, STICKS AND PIECES OF PLYWOOD.

- After finally making it home, I find it impossible school will be open today, then I remembered one thing: Koreans work/study too much. I texted my head teacher and sure enough, school was open.

- Sitting in my room, cold, tired from a red-eye flight, and unmotivated beyond belief, I was about to walk out the door and then I got a text…school was canceled.

What a way to return from a vacation!

This is the first snow day I’ve had in ages, and I had to take advantage. I spent the day walking around my town, taking pictures, playing with kids in the park, building a snowman, helping the lady who owns the restaurant I eat at shovel her sidewalk, and carrying some ladies wagon up a 400 meter hill (despite her insane refusal for assistance) and doing all sorts of other good deeds to make up for the wrongs of my past.

What a way to return from a vacation. Normally I tout the efficiency of Korea here and to my family and friends, but this is a case where their labor and efforts were lacking to say the least, but it helped me. I guess I win either way. Pictures….

Back to school tomorrow, but this was a great way to start of 2010.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-22T18:21:00.001-08:00

Spending the next few days with my family then I'm going on vacation, won't be back till early January. When I am, I'll be posting up a storm for sure. Got a lot to write about.

So I'm heaving back to Vietnam, and will revisit the beautiful city that is Nha Trang where I'll be spending time on the beach, taking a cooking class, going down the Mekong Delta, eating copious amounts of dragon fruit and feeding monkeys. Loving life right now.

Again, Merry Christmas.

Kids Say The Darndest Things: South Korean Version Volume II

2009-12-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

The following are journal entries from my kids that I have to read. When you combine the curiosity of the youth and translating those thoughts into another language you get great results...In no way, shape, or form am I making fun of the kids English, I sure as hell didn’t know any foreign languages when I was 11 or 12 years old, I’m simply pointing out funny things I’ve read from them that's all. The following are all direct quotes...

On Christmas

“Christmas is a big holibay!!!! Santa is coming and we gives us gifts!!!! We eat a delicious food and fun play. I like white Christmas, it’s romantic! Cold and windy, but mind is warm day.” “Christmas is very fun because don’t go school and Santa gives presents. Hum, I like Santa…Santa is old, but he never dies. He looks like a phoenix. He can fly and do magic. Wow, he is very good!”

“Christmas is born Jesus day. I like Christmas because Christmas is so happy and wonderful. Many people go traveling Christmas but I don’t go traveling because I have to go to church. Sometimes church is very annoyed.” I heard that kiddo.

“Christmas is good to every body because many pepole give presnts for us. But some people are not happy so they don’t give us presents. Many children believe brought to Santa, but Santa didn’t give to children, LOL, your parents give.”

“I hate Christmas! I don’t want Christmas! I don’t have boyfriend!!! In case I have a boyfriend I wait Christmas. Me make a boyfriend for Christmas please Santa. Who banter?!?!?!? I so hate Christmas!!!”

“I want to girlfriend. I want to with a girlfriend for Christmas present but I don’t like girl people or I don’t popular. I want to be very handsome. I always lonely on Christmas so I want to with girlfriend on Christmas.” This is an incredibly sad post. I gave the kid dating advice and boosted his confidence in my feedback in his journal. I also told the Korean teacher to set him up with the girl above.

On The Afterlife…

“A lot of people talk the ‘world after death’ and I speak and think talk the world after death too. People speaks and think the most is heaven and a hell. I believe god and his disciple but I don’t believe heaven and a hell. I think existence of the world just death people’s world and then death peoples are living same the non world. My think is continued, I don’t think ‘the world after death.’”

“When I am weary of having nothing to do I often think about the world after death. The world after death is the same as sleep. After death we can’t see, think, hear, feel and talk. But after sleep we can get up on the contrary after death we can’t get up. Sometimes I think after death we can come into being again. But people can’t remember the before life. If I am born again I want live happy life like now. Everyone don’t know the world after death, only after death we can know.”

WOAH, broken English or not, that was DEEEEEEEEEEEEP

“I believe the world after death. I believe in the kingdom of heaven and hell because I believe Jesus and God. I hope go Heaven. If I go the world after death I hope I meet Jesus and God. Heaven is not need money and work, that’s automatic action makes the feed, money, clothes, tv and games. I hope go heaven and meet my father and mother and sister live in very fun.”

“I believe the world after death and I think exist the kingdom of Heaven. The kingdom of Heaven is peace, there is go to the kind people but bad people not come in the kingdom of Heaven bad people go in Hades. Hades is scared. I don’t want there and I believe an angel. An angel is beautiful but I don’t believe a devil. A devil is very scared. Do you like the kingdom of Heaven? Where do you want to go?”

“The world after death is difficult for me. It’s very difficult and important but I think it’s nothing because maybe I will die some day. Maybe. Where will I live? Heaven? Hell? I think I live in heaven. Hell isn’t for me. Heaven has angels, hell has devils, but I think I will not die because today science technology development miraculous. Then I will not die. Ben teacher how do your think about the world after death?”

Volume I

What Is Kimchi & How To Make It

2009-12-18T06:31:00.000-08:00

Kimchi is pickled cabbage covered with hot pepper sauce and it is the most popular dish in Korea. Health Magazine named it one of the 5 healthiest foods in the world, and also claim that the average Korean eats 40 pounds a year of it. How is it possible to eat 40 pounds of cabbage a year? Well, you eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner. Mmmm.

Kimchi is high in fiber, low in fat, and packed with vitamins that kill bacteria. Koreans are very prideful about the health impacts of kimchi, which causes them to make up outrageous claims like kimchi will prevent people from getting the Bird Flu. I'm not kidding. When Bird Flu was 'in', you know, before Swing Flu, people here thought kimchi would cure and/or prevent people from getting the flu. Sales of kimchi skyrocketed during that period, and an air condition manufacturer even made an air conditioner, "equipped with a filter made out of kimchi that destroys the killer bird flu virus." True story!

I may have gotten ahead of myself, some people might not know what 'pickling' entails…

Pickling is a method of preserving food, it is done so by keeping a food item in vinegar, or covering it with salt. This prevents the food from going bad for a very, very long time. Sounds gross right? Do you like pickles? Well, they are not a vegetable, they are 'pickled' cucumbers. Moving on...

There's nearly 200 types of kimchi, but the basic ingredients are cabbage, salt and hot pepper sauce. You can also make it with onions, spices, etc. Kimchi may sound gross to you, and a lot of people I know who are not from Korea that like eating ethnic food don't even dig kimchi, but I have no problem with it and eat it everyday (only at lunch or dinner, never breakfast). It's part of the culture here so I feel like it's something everyone should at least be willing to try on occasion.

Kimchi has been around for nearly 3,000 years, so it’s a strong element of their culture. People even say "kimchi" when taking a picture, not "cheese." Most importantly, the process of making kimchi is an annual event in which the entire family participates in making kimchi before the winter comes and a lot of the cabbage crops go bad. This happens around early November. One weekend I asked my students what they were up to, and they all replied "making kimchi with my family," so I felt like it was a pretty big deal. I get the perception that you're not a true Korean if you buy your kimchi pre-made. I guess it would be like an Italian in Italy buying Ragu? Or a redneck buying KFC and not slow-roasting a hog for 20 hours on 200 degrees? Just kidding rednecks!

So, when one of my friends at the gym I go to told me he was making kimchi with his family, I asked him to take pictures so I could share with people on my blog. Here is a step by step guide with pictures on how to make kimchi...

Step One: Buy A Ridiculous Amount Of Cabbage (50 heads for this family)

Step Two: Peal Off Some Of The Outer Leaves
(which I guess aren’t as fresh and capable of being preserved)
Step Three: Chop It Into Smaller Pieces
Step Four: Throw Them In Buckets And Cover With
Salt (lots), And Let Sit (usually overnight) Step Five: Assemble Together All Other Vegetables You Will Use Step Six: Chop Those Up Step

Seven: Mix All Those Chopped Vegetables Together

Step Eight: Rinse Off Cabbage In Buckets Of Water

Step Nine: Mix Vegetables And Red Pepper Sauce
Together, Apply Layers Of It To Each Cabbage Leaf

Step Ten: Preserve Kimchi In Stone Jars

There you go. You now have enough kimchi to last your family to the spring. This is more than a full day affair if you let the cabbage pickle in the salt overnight. It involves a lot of sitting Indian style, and most people come into school/work/gym on Monday after that weekend feeling a little soar. Me? I just eat it up. Here's the final product...

A Recipe For The Worst Translation Ever

2009-12-17T07:37:00.000-08:00

1 - take a 12 year old student
2 - have them copy and paste information about their country from the internet
3 - have the student edit the document on their own in Korean
4 - copy and paste that to a free translation website
5 - shorten the entry on your own and write it in your diary even though you are unsure what the translation says
6 - submit as your own work

* Be sure to not leave the actual print out of the document you copied from the internet inside your diary for your teacher to see. He could bring attention to it down the road.

That's what one of my students did. She's pretty smart too, one of the better ones in her class, but she got caught red handed on this one by leaving the evidence there for me to see. What a rookie mistake. I hope all the free translations we used in high school weren't this bad.......

"How Do You do I 000 and introduce Korea

Speech it will give the traditional culture of Korea first.

Traditionally culture of Korea shedding of blood, intangibility, being become known well from the place shedding of blood culture property which B comes to cause to defecate a lot at human being culture property in the stone cave cancer the shoes at the time of the light virtue king it was designed with the world-wide cultural heritage to come to come and Korean characteristics it is proud, it did.

The intangibale cultural assest has the traditional musical instruments of Korea and plays the Korean traditional percussion quarter which with representative it holds.

And the person who posses the intangible cultural asset which is a human being culture property it is an end which reaches.

In afterwords Korea – against at week speech it will give.

The first cloth. The Korean clothes beautiful clothing 1 comfort it is pulled out, America of the bedspread curve which it does but saved and grade of tradition oh it is famous with one color.

Second food. “Korea” it will do and there is not a possibility which it will leave out and “there is a Kimchi.” The method which makes it pickles the Chinese cabbage in the salt and it bites and to draw out the different dressing materials it puts in it is mixed together and and and in the powdered red pepper and and.

Third house. In order for the tile-roofed house in order to come to match naturally, controls the curve of the flag and softly and entirely the sun not to be the branch naturally, it did the environment construction which hits.

It will finish the explanation against Korea at above. It listens to until now and it gives. from Thank You."

Wow.

Daft Punk

2009-12-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

Not sure what school this took place in, and although it is pretty cool it seems like an incredible waste of time.

Funny Signs: Part 2

2009-12-16T06:41:00.000-08:00

Love the hole in the kids head

I do really want to go to the KINEMA

??????

I wish I knew this sign existed before I went in.
Not going back.

??????? 2

I've never been. Say nope to dope kids.

Yes, Happy Walking

Spelling

One of my favorites because it's not a joke or bad editing

Never heard of the WACKING dance style. Also LOL at
the mispelling of "klumping" since it's popular in Korea.
How do you spell your own word wrong?

I can't wait to REALEX this weekend
Spelling, it's on the bottles you bought lots of

Ditto

Not funny, but I still like it.

Funny Signs Part I

Seoul Snow Jam

2009-12-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

The Seoul Snow Jam was a Big Air Snowboard contest which is part of the Snowboard World Cup. Professional riders from all over the world travel around each year competing on the World Cup circuit, accumulating points in each competition until a winner is crowned at the end of the season. Having the event here is part of Korea's push to get the 2018 Winter Olympics.

This contest took place in the middle of Seoul at a place called Gwanghwamun. Imagine a massive snowboard jump being built around say, the Empire State Building, right in the middle of 34th street with loads of traffic going by on the side. It was pretty impressive. Here are some pictures, GIFs and a video at the end with a dozen or so short clips of the guys going. Really got me psyched to go skiing soon...