I Live In Korea

Long post ahead but it’s informative. Most of these I forgot to mention when I was there teaching, others I just found out about on my recent trip.

1. Eye glasses are insanely cheap and take a really short amount of time to make. How cheap? I have two really nice pairs that I spent a combined $150 on. How quick? I walk in, and in 30 minutes I have my glasses picked out, my eye checkup done, and the lenses are fixed according to my prescription and ready to go.

2. Some people keep charred logs of wood in their fridges, this supposedly helps keep the fridge smelling fresh as the charred logs eat up any foul odors.

3. The subway cards are awesome for a variety of reasons, one of them is instead of a card you can have a little charm to put on your cell phone that will work as a subway pass. Also, you don’t have to take it out to swipe at the subway/bus machine, it can read through your wallet/bag. The card/charm works for most taxis and even at some convenience stores. It’s not flimsy like the Metro Card which can be destroyed easily. Also, look at them. There’s no way a Metro Card is better than this...

4. You can charge your cellphone in most convenience stores. Maybe I mentioned this before, but it’s amazing and needs to be mentioned again.

5. Everyone composts, even if they don’t have a yard to plant things in. Don’t know what composting is? Well, then you’re probably an American from a large metropolitan city and you should look it up.

6. Korean people don’t think white people can eat spicy food or use chopsticks. I have received many compliments on my ability to use chopsticks and get looks from people in restaurants when they see me eating spicy food. Sometimes I get overly dramatic (but serious) responses with people literally shaking their head and encourage me not to eat the food. Sometimes I see people elbowing their friend and pointing in my direction to imply “look at that white boy, he’s going to try and eat that spicy pepper!” It’s highly comical and I play it up when I have the chance.

7. Long stop lights. My old neighborhood had a light that took 3 ½ minutes to change through its full cycle (I timed it). People wait too because......Confucius. Follow rules, order. I nearly got a summons my first weekend there for crossing the street at 4am when no cars were insight, a cop came over to nab me but I played the dumb-foreigner card. The longest light I’ve seen was 5 minutes.

8. Most newer apartments you don’t use keys to get inside, they have an electronic keypad so you just punch in a code and you’re in. This is amazing. Think about all the time you’ve spent looking for your keys, how inconvenient it is to have to bring your keys with you when you go for a run or go to the gym, or think about the times when your jacket was stolen with your keys inside, and your roommate was passed out so you had to sleep on the floor outside of your apartment door to the horror of your neighbors (Hypothetical situation of course).

9. A number of fast food restaurants are open 24 hours.

10. Spitting is…how do I put this mildly…socially acceptable? Standing on the corner waiting to cross the street, and hearing a 70 year old woman loudly “hock a loogie” is not only not out of the question, but probably something you will see regularly.

11. All fast food restaurants deliver.

12. Excluding the “blue trucks” and some taxis which are orange, I’d estimate that 93% of the cars are black, white or silver. Nothing unusual really, just following the norm. Confucius.

13. Most apartments don’t have dryers or ovens. Clothes are air-dried on a rack, baking just isn’t very big.

14. Ping-pong halls, pool halls, PC rooms (think, internet cafe without coffee, just heaps of people playing computer games), and noraebang’s (karaoke rooms) are EVERYWHERE. If you walk 2 minutes without seeing one of them, you are blind.

15. There is a motorcycle delivery service where they will literally bring you anything you want. I always wondered why I saw some guys on a bike with crap stacked six feet high on the back, but now I know, he’s running errands for someone.

16. There is also a motorcycle taxi service. In a bind and don’t want to deal with traffic? MTS will weave through and bring you wherever the hell you want. Awesome.

17. __________ don’t ____________________ _________________ _____________. (Too lengthy to get into, use your imagination and get back to me.)

18. Being single is somewhat of a sin. I must have been asked about 100x if I had a girlfriend and each facial expression when I replied “no” was more sad than the next. Being 30 there (my Korean age) is like being 36 and single in the US. Basically, I’m close to being washed up (no offense to any 36 year old single people). Good thing I’m a man though as it’s worse for women. What does this lead to? Well, my roommate when I was back for this trip kept wanting to set me up so I could have a “girlfriend.” Guy surprised me by bringing along some random girl when he and I went out to dinner. She knew about 20 words in English and her first question to me was “are you disappointed by my age?” (Little does she know!!!!)

Seriously though, it was over-bearing how many times this guy would pester me about being single, trying to set me up, or being flabbergasted that I was meeting up with former coworkers or friends who were females and the relationship was just platonic. The important thing to remember though, is that he was just being nice. Sometimes the kindness can be overbearing, but you always have to remember that they’re just trying.

19. Cigarettes are $2.50 a pack. Foreigners come here and think “I’m in a new place, let’s change some habits of mine, no more smoking.” But then you see how cheap cigarettes are, you can smoke everywhere unlike most major American cities, and then they crack.

20. Dunkin Donuts is awesome. There is considerably less sugar in the donuts here, making it possible to eat six (if one were so inclined) without feeling sick. Oh, they also sell churros at some of them too.

21. Cell phones work everywhere...tunnels, highest peak in the country, subways, etc. everywhere. I mentioned this before, but the reason this is important is because the luxury isn’t abused like it would probably be in the US. On subways, if someone is using their phone, they are probably covering their mouth to keep their voice low and are talking for a very short period of time. It’s just not polite. C-ON-F-U-C-I-U-S.

22. The school buses are nicer than ours

23. According to the always accurate Wikipedia, there are 2,282 7/11’s in Korea and it’s the 5th most of any country in the world. I’m shocked by that number and believe it must be higher since that figure was calculated. There were two on my block alone less than 400 yards from each other. It’s insane, I saw more 7/11’s there than I see Starbuck’s in NYC.

24. Elevator buttons can cancel out. Pushed the wrong button? No problem, push it again and the light goes off. This would have ruined mine and some of my friends’ childhood, who made a habit out of pushing every button on the elevator before we got off on the floor we needed to. Kids.

25. Nothing gets stolen. Ever. People keep their gym shoes in a shoe rack at the gym so they can go straight from work and leave their shoes there. In supermarkets and some other stores, they have a bin in the front where you put your wet umbrellas so you don’t have to carry it around with you and get the floor all wet. CONFUCIUS.

26. Drinking in public is legal anywhere. I’ve said this before, but you have no idea how great it is (not trying to sound like a lush) to be able to hop in a cab with a road soda. Of course there’s dumb-asses who ruin it though and make foreigners look like ignorant "louts." Sitting on the floor of a subway car, drinking and playing card games? Really? It’s something great but shouldn’t be abused, it's a simple pleasure like cellphones working on a train. Do it undercover and in a way where it's basically kept to yourself.

27. People eat buffalo wings with a fork and knife. I only went to wing night twice, but every single person in the bar on both occasions was using a fork and knife. I didn’t want to be rude so I obliged and it completely ruined the experience of eating a buffalo wing.

28. Beer pong is played with water. I only went to a bar that had beer pong twice, so it’s not the greatest sample size, but all games throughout the night were played with water. No one drank the water, they just played to see who could hit the most shots. What kind of game is that?

29. Bus seats all face forward in the same direction. A lot of buses in other cities will have some sideways seats for space efficiency. I have no official explanation, but I can only believe the orderliness of the seats all facing forward has to do with a man named Confucius.

30. North Koreans who successfully defect to South Korea are given $10,000-$28,000 in start up money. In the US, Mexicans who cross the border get shitty jobs picking tomatoes and are blamed for the collapse of the US economy, crime and a number of other problems.

31. In the US, if there is a sale advertised, it usually looks like this “20%-40% off.” In Korea, it looks like “40%-20% off.” It seems weird, but it might make sense. Seeing the bigger number first might suck people in more. I believe a study needs to be done on this if it has not already.

32. A lot of gas stations look like this. Notice anything weird (hard to tell, shitty picture)? Well, there are no pumps, just an overhead thingie. This is a huge space saver and also let’s people not have to worry about what side of the car their gas tank is on. Genius idea.

33. Cabs are cheap as hell, probably 1/3rd of the price of a NYC taxicab. It’s awesome.

34. Traffic on the highways around Seoul is horrific, worse than NY, better than LA though (I think).

35. The vast majority of tennis courts are a clay/dirt. They also keep a chalk line maker there and some places even keep a bunch of balls too, but of course, none of them get stolen. Confucius?

36. Subways have vending machines, a digital map so you can see the overview/Google maps type view of the surrounding area to locate parks, restaurants, hospitals, etc. It’s awesome. There are also flat screen tv’s in a number of train stations showing commercials, news, etc.

37. Despite the constant references to him, Confucius is not from Korea, he’s from China, but the influence of his teachings reached Korea and I’m glad it did.

Yes, I went back to Korea recently, not for too long though. After this rant I have a few more posts to make and then this will be done for good, whether I ever return or not.

Since leaving Korea about a year ago, I continued to receive emails and random comments on my posts/videos from people moving to Korea who wanted to ask me questions about the country I maybe left unanswered. It made me wish I had written more while I was there since there are so many topics I just made blurbs about without really getting into fully. I probably could’ve promoted the blog more inside of the country as well, but I need to remember, (뒤로보지말고, 앞으로 나아). I did realize that I never really wrote an overall post about my reflections after the year I spent there, so here goes...

The great thing about going to Korea to teach is that it can be whatever you want: if you feel like staying out till 6am three nights a week and just get wasted all the time, ok. If you want to totally immerse yourself in the culture to the point where you don’t mind dating someone who barely speaks your language, cool. If you want an easy job to pay off any debt you have, it’s a great place to do it. If you want to get away from problems in your life and not look back, perfect. If you have no clue about what you want to do in life, but want an easy job that will pay well, while at the same time continue to bi*** about how much you hate living in the country but for some reason decide to keep staying, well you can do that too (and you’ll have a lot of company). To put it simply, if you’ve ever wanted to live in another country for a year and you have no idea what you want to do with yourself, Korea is a great option. It can be whatever you want.

A lot changed since I left even though only nine months passed. A new subway extension was built connecting Seoul to a big ski resort/water park, a massive amount of construction is being done in my city (Incheon) which is hosting the 2014 Asian games, a lot of park beautification efforts are taking place along the Han River which divides Seoul, buildings were completed, a lot of new stores opened up, etc. etc. etc. This is only the beginning, as there are other major reconstruction efforts inside and outside of Seoul. With Korea getting the 2018 Winter Olympics, forget about it. I won’t recognize the place when I go back in 2018 to watch. Again, I was only gone for nine months. I remember returning to the U.S. after being away for a year, and feeling a little depressed walking around NYC as I noticed more places had closed down since I left. In Korea it was the complete opposite. Anyway...

Teaching English in Korea is a good job, if not an extremely cushy one. Pay is good, your hours are great, the work isn’t too overwhelming (to say the least) unless you’re a dumbass like me and decide to spend a lot of time doing work you don’t have to do. There are some downsides to the position but overall it’s a great experience. Still, for some reason when you’re there it feels like you’re on the grind. It could have to do with the nature in which you begin teaching there: thrown into the fire without any training or familiarity with how the school operates, etc. Koreans work pretty damn hard in general, like bees. Robot bees. This rubs off on the foreign teachers and creates the feeling of the grind, where despite the positives of the position, the fact that you’re in a one-year contract and seem very replaceable, it makes it easy to move on.

But I found myself in those months when I was back in the U.S. talking about Korea whenever I could. I would ramble incessantly to anyone who lent an ear. I loved going to get Korean food or making it for friends. When I went into a shop owned by any Asian, I quickly looked around to see if there was any calendars/documents around, to see if they were in Korean so I could ask a question, make a comment, or just say hello/bye, which would get a huge smile out of them. Koreans have a lot of pride, and some of them really get a kick out of you just saying anything in their language. I still follow the news regularly over there. I love the place, and most importantly, I love the people who are kind beyond belief, sometimes to the point where they can be overbearing (I’ll touch on that in a future post).

There’s a big red carpet waiting for foreigners (well, most of them) when you arrive in Korea. The problem is, like the boa constrictor that digested the elephant in the Little Prince and was mistaken for a hat, it’s not there for everyone to see. I can’t tell you the amount of free things I received or preferential treatment I got simply because I was a foreigner. People wanted to befriend me and or went out of their way to make me feel welcomed (especially since I lived in a smaller area of the country). When I went back I visited the oldest temple in Korea with my friend and his family. Not many foreigners ever go there (my Korean teachers had never been there) so they don’t have a pamphlet with information in English to give out. However, they were more than happy to print out a 30 page document with the history of the place and give it to me even though I didn’t ask. How’s that for customer service? Ten minutes later, one of the staff members came from behind the desk, looked around for me and decided to practice his English by telling me all that they knew about the place even though they gave me the information already. This might bother some people because I wasn’t able to go at my own pace, I was now a guest, and they were hosting me around this site and I had to be respectful.

Korean people are funny as hell too. I always laughed when people were shocked that I could eat spicy food, since most Koreans don’t think westerners can for some reason. I distinctly remember a woman at a restaurant initially refusing to give me more spicy sauce because she didn’t think I could eat it, and she watched in horror as I put it all over my food. I laughed when people gave me compliments on my ability to use chopsticks. I thought it was funny that kids walked behind me sometimes when I was heading to school so they could ask me questions or just say “hi” and “nice to meet you” over and over. Being pointed at sometimes on the bus or in public by kids, as if I were an alien, was always a good time, and it happened quite a bit. This may sound narcissistic, but people were often fascinated simply by my presence. I don’t mean that about myself either, just in general because I was a foreigner.

I wonder if I would get tired of it over time though. In a way, I was a novelty there and I soaked it up (without taking advantage). But in the long-run, I wonder if the inability to escape that and never really being able to blend completely in because I’m not a native would eventually make me feel resentment about the place. Maybe I’ll never know…

So, if you think right off the bat that you’d be annoyed or angry by the guy who wanted to talk to me at the temple, then you might end up hating Korea. If you choose to live in an area outside of Seoul/Busan/Jeju (and a few other places I suppose), and don’t like little kids running up to you to randomly say hi and blurt out any word they know in English, you also might not like Korea. If random people coming up to you in a store or on the train to try and chat with you in English bothers you, stay away. If you get mad at the thought of an old lady on a train forearming her way through the crowd to get a seat, then you definitely won’t like Korea. They do that to everyone though, not just foreigners, and personally I think it’s hysterical.

I loved living in Korea, but I think I’m done with it. I probably peaked…I dominated for one year and I think that was that. Even though Ben Teacher will always be a legend at my school (shop/restaurant/post office workers in my town all remembered me too!!), I don’t know if I’d go back and teach, but never say never. Either way, Korea will always feel like a second home to me, and aside from New York City I doubt there will be a place I’ll ever feel as attached to.

Korea isn’t perfect though, and I guess I should point out why since people give me crap and say things like “well if you like it so much why don’t you move there then!” For starters, it’s tougher being a woman and working there since it’s a very patriarchal society. I’ve heard a fair share of sexist comments from men which made me think they were the offspring of Borat. It can be a superficial place at times, and with “appearance” being so important, it could make or break whether you hate the country or love it. There are customs and traditions in the workplace that might not make sense, but you have to follow through with them without any explanation of what they are or what you’re doing. Sick at work and have to miss a few days? Well, you might get fired like a friend of mine did (via email no less!). It can be a frustrating place at times, there’s no denying that.

But all in all, the relative ease of life, awesome nightlife, high-quality transportation, number of things to do, well-paying teaching jobs where the kids are beyond obedient, cheap food/alcohol/cabs/movies/everything, etc., make it hard to complain about. From someone who taught in Korea, left for a while then went back for a bit, I was reminded of how lucky I was when I lived there, but I knew that all along and highlighted it many times on this blog. My advice would be to take advantage of what the country has to offer, or GTFO and go back to the US/UK/Canada/Australia where the job market is miserable, then tell me if you regretted ever going to Korea or not. It’s great for what it is, just remember that.

When I go traveling, I like to finish where I start because it makes me feel like I completed a full circle. So I went back to my old ’hood before I left to stop by my favorite lunch spot, the same place I had my first meal when I arrived in 2009 (I’d bet my life that no foreigners went there since). It was nice chatting with the lady who worked there again. This time, I was at least able to ask/answer a few questions. For twelve months I went there three times a week and the only communication we had was ordering, paying and then goodbye. This time it was a little different, and the pleasantries of that along with knowing I was just back to pay my respects and to see friends, meant she refused to let me pay for the meal. I was the guest, and it was Korea after all.

I have a bunch of half-finished posts, but due to time constraints, and not having the necessary material (pictures/videos) I couldn’t make entries about them, so let me sum it all up. Some good things in here…

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That – It’s pretty common to see very young girls walking around holding hands with each other. Actually, it’s common to see girls in their 20s and 30s holding hands. It’s also not out of the ordinary to see two guys in their 20s sitting on the train next to each other, one of them resting his head on the other ones shoulder. Again, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Those that know me, are aware I’m a very open-minded person and have no problem with this whatsoever, all I’m saying is that seeing loads of girls in their 20s and 30s holding hands just as friends and guys resting on each others’ shoulders caught my attention, especially in a culture which isn’t known for its tolerance of homosexuality.

Fast Food – Pretty unique things get sold at fast food restaurants here. Cheese fries at Taco Bell, Kimchi flavored donuts at Dunkin Donuts, corn salad at McDonald’s, etc.

Jimjilbang – Wow, where to begin. If you’re familiar with the premise of a Russian bathhouse, then you’ll understand Jimjilbangs better. Jimjilbangs are basically huge bath houses with different types of saunas, steam rooms, hot tubs, massage parlors, etc. What makes them unique is that you are naked, there’s little kids running around, you can sleep in them and even get your haircut. I’ve been to clothed bathhouses before, but naked ones where fathers bring their little 5 year old son? Pretty weird.

I love Jimjilbangs though, for only $3.50 you can have a really nice time relaxing. They come in really handy for me too. On a number of occasions I’ve gotten back from a long hike, gone to the Jimjilbang, showered up, chilled in the hot tub for a bit to relax, got changed, and gone out. I don’t have to go home or anything, it’s amazing. This would never exist back home, too many creeps in the U.S. unfortunately.

PC Bang – Not everyone has computers in their house here, so they go to a PC Bang which is basically an internet lounge, except that everyone in there is playing computer games. These places are like dungeons; they are dark and have a room reserved for people who want to smoke and play computer games (sometimes they merely have a 5 foot wall which does nothing to separate the smokers from non-smokers). The lure of the PC Bang is they have extremely fast internet connection (probably 2-3 times faster than anything in the U.S.) which make gaming great, the monitors are very large, it’s cheap ($0.40-$1.00 for an hour), and they are open 24 hours. Some of my students spend 6 hours each weekend day at these places. It’s insane. They are always mobbed with people that are there for hours on end smoking, drinking soda and eating ramen noodles. People here are obsessed with computer games, there was a case recently about a couple that would go to a PC Bang and leave their infant child unattended at home. The child died of malnutrition. Another case of a guy dying at the PC Bang because he was on some insane bender, played for 50 hours straight.

Skiing in Korea – 24 hours at some places here. They have 5-7 hour ski sessions, and then go on a short break to blow snow at some places which have overnight skiing. I went once with my coworkers and we were skiing from 12am-5am. Something else weird is that most people don’t own their own ski clothes, they rent outfits when they get their equipment. Another funny thing is hearing Korean pop music blasting throughout the mountain. Also funny that 95% of people who snowboard take their board off when they got on the chairlift and carry it on with them. Another funny thing is seeing people in RIDICUOUS outfits, like full body rabbit, teddy bear, etc. outfits. I lost my memory card which had some great clips/pictures of this, I was pretty bummed.

Elections in Korea – I was unfortunate enough to be here in a year where there were elections nationwide. If you think elections in the U.S. are annoying, well, in Korea, it’s worse. On a busy street corner you’ll likely find all 4 corners taken up by various opposition. Each candidate will have it’s “support” on one corner. They are usually women in their 30s-50s who will be wearing neon colored shirts, and singing/dancing in unison. It’s ridiculous.

Korean Cafes – There’s some very interesting cafes here. They might be Hello Kitty themed, they might have birds flying around inside of them, cats walking around. You might have the option to wear various ridiculous dresses, or you can even go to a medical café where a doctor will do a quick checkup. Insane.

Cars Run Red Lights – I fear for my life sometimes crossing the street because cars have absolutely no respect for red lights. The irony behind this is that people will sometimes have to wait 3 minutes for a light to turn green so they can cross, and will wait despite their being absolutely no cars in sight. Not only do they wait, but they wait patiently. Put them in cars, and all hell breaks loose. I’ve been in cabs before where the guy was watching a baseball game when it was dark out, was stopped behind cars waiting for a red light, weaved into the OPPOSITE lane, got to the front of the cars waiting, got back in the lane, and then ran the red light and made his turn. It’s outrageous. Meanwhile, they snicker if you buckle your seatbelt, and many cabs don’t even have working seatbelts as well.

Misc. Facts

Cell Phone Chargers – ever been out and your battery dies? 7-11 and other 24 hour
convenience stores all over the place here, and all of them recharge your phone in 30 minutes for $1. It’s amazing.

Wedding Cards – They don’t really do them here. I had to search near and far for them. I mentioned it to my coworker and they said they usually just throw cash in a blank envelope.

Playing Cards – They run you about $12-15 at the convenience stores, I’m not kidding. I was slightly under the influence of alcohol and actually bought a pack. Good thing my brother didn’t buy me 2 packs of PINNACLE cards and bring them over for me.

All men have to serve in the military - some Olympians who win medals get special privileges and get excluded, or do a quick 4 weeks. Some other celebrities weasel their way out of it too. I think now you have to serve for 20 months, but I think the number will drop to 18 months pretty soon.

High Fives –Haven’t caught on yet fully over here. A number of my students flinch when I put my hand up passing them in the hallway hoping to get some dap back from them.

That's all I got right now.... Almost done here....

I already told you about DVD Bangs, those are basically places where (generally) younger couples go for a little action, and people like me go to watch a movie and drink beers before I go out. DVD Bangs are amateur hour, Love Motels are where it’s at.

Love Motels are for couples that live at home still but actually have money, cheating husbands, and foreigners who go to another city for a weekend then meet someone at a bar and need a private place to sleep instead of the one they are sharing with friends. Love Motels are ALL over Korea. Even in my small town there’s a bunch of them.

Watch the video for more….

It’s safe for work by the way….

What is Kimchi?
What is Krumping?
What is the DMZ?
What is the Fan Death?
What is DDongchim?

There’s loads of things that I have noticed or have happened in Korea here that would never be common in America. For instance, Korea has a lot of things that aren’t necessarily legal, but they are okay. Such as bringing your own beer into a sporting event and running red lights if no one is around. There’s common trends like the older person usually paying for dinner/drinks even if it’s against your will or you’ve run up a massive bill on your own. It’s not out of the ordinary for random Koreans to invite you out for drinks or to just start randomly feeding you.

Also, Koreans don’t like saying no, so when you ask someone in a store for directions, he might get out from behind his desk, take you outside, walk a block or two and offer to keep going until you get to the spot. True story. There’s the honor system of leaving your umbrellas/gym shoes in the lobby of your school/gym and knowing with 100% certainty it will never be stolen, but I’m not going to mention any of that.

Those are cultural phenomenon’s and acts of kindness that may take place in other countries that are friendly towards foreigners. What I’m talking about are specific things that have happened to me that will never, EVER, happen in America.

ONE - About a month ago I was craving some fried chicken. Who wouldn’t crave chicken after seeing this commercial?

I heard this restaurant is one of the best fried chicken joints in Korea, and I love some fried chicken. Went there with my buddy one afternoon, we noticed no one was inside and were losing hope. The door was open so we walked in and by communicating, we found out they were closed, all they were doing at the time take out and they won’t be open for seating any time soon. As we are about to walk out, someone else came up to the register and communicated to us that it’s okay and we can come in despite being closed. We went out to the patio where they have nice seats along the street and had some great chicken. No big deal right? Well, for any American reading this, imagine a couple of Mexicans who don’t speak English walking into a closed restaurant in the US and being treated the same. No chance in hell.

TWO - Two weekends ago I bought a t-shirt. I love the shirt. I was slightly hungover that day, so my cognitive skills weren’t up to par. I headed to a pool to relax and spend the day in the sun. I went to the bathroom to change. While I was in there I rested my brand new shirt on a counter, got ready, then laid down.

A few hours later I was getting ready to leave and realized I left my shirt in the bathroom. I was pissed since I JUST bought it that day. A shot in the dark, I went to the lost and found, and although I know VERY little Korean, and the person I spoke with knew little English, I was able to translate a few key things to her: “purple…shirt…penguin.” I gave her my name and phone number, then went to get my bag and head out of there. Suddenly, over a loudspeaker an announcement came out and the only word I understood was penguin. Yes, they made an announcement to everyone that a shirt was lost and if they found it they should return it. I was pleasantly surprised, but also embarrassed as I’m sure people got a chuckle about the description of the item being announced.

I went home and my fantastic weekend ended on a slightly bad note. The next day, I got a phone call from someone who barely spoke English. My Korean coworkers weren’t around so I had no one to hand the phone to. I hung up, texted back my address, and prayed. A few days later, my shirt arrived safe and sound. Unreal.

THREE - Last weekend I made my monthly trip to the E-Mart (I guess a Korean version of Walmart) to do some shopping. My “shopping list” is usually just Gatorade and Mr. Potato.

This week I was picking up a tube to use when I go to the swimming pools as well. BIG sale on Gatorade, two 1.5 liter (50 ounces) for 2,000 won ($1.65). Why not go all out and possibly not have to make another shopping trip? I stocked up and got 9 packs (18 total) total. My eyes were bigger than my arms, and I was STRUGGLING to carry the bags out of the store. Luckily a cab was strolling up to the front, I managed getting over there, and was about to hop in. Then, two women and a baby come running behind me screaming. Despite the huge language barrier, I manage to realize they called for the taxi so I can't get in. Now, I have to walk a little bit, and hope another cab comes by. Looking defeated, they tell me to come in and we’ll share a cab.

In the cab, I can tell them where I live, that I’m a teacher, an American, 27, have been here 10 months, that’s about it. They get out first, and PAY FOR THE CAB. You cannot refuse help from a Korean, it’s very difficult to do. They handed the cab driver more money than they should have given him, and got out. I looked like a pathetic chump. I can’t imagine that happening in the US, unless some really attractive female was about to get into a cab that belonged to some dorky guy with a lot of cash and was trying to impress her/get a date, then paid for the whole thing.

The cabbie brought me to my place, I gave him a tip (despite his refusal since tipping is not commonplace here either), and walked up to my place feeling shamed, but also feeling reminded about how much I love this country.

I love zoos and aquariums. Love em. You throw me at a zoo and I can stand and watch the monkeys in action all day. Same goes for penguins and seals at aquariums. I heard great things about the COEX Aquarium here so I decided to give it a go, and it didn’t disappoint.

Right upon entering, you’re going to notice a different setup than any aquarium you’ve been to before. They have a whole section showing foreign species of an animal right next to the domestic kind. Pretty cool seeing what the frogs, crabs, etc. look like here compared to what I’m used to seeing in the US.
Japanese Spider Crab



The use of space is also amazing here. The use of modern devices as fish tanks was very unique and nothing I’d ever seen before.






Other nice features such as a huge tank you can walk underneath make it nice too.

An Amazon themed area make you feel like you're in a jungle and has some other animals you wouldn't normally expect to see at an aquarium.


Also some pretty funny signs...



Here's some random pictures of animals there...



Video of a shark, Dr. Fish, and a little show some scuba divers put on who go into a huge tank to swim with the fishes and turtles.

I highly recommend this aquarium if you are in or visiting Seoul. There's also an aquarium in the 63 Building, but it sucks. Don't go to it.

I've seen a lot of random things in my book, around town, in stores, etc., here's some of my favorites...

So, I’ll just get straight to the point. It is believed by some people in South Korea that leaving a FAN on overnight can cause death. I’m not kidding. There’s some strange beliefs people over here have when it comes to health, usually centered around kimchi and how it can cure anything known to man. The fan death takes the cake though.

So, how can leaving a fan on overnight cause you to die? Here’s the 5 explanations:

"1. An electric fan creates a vortex, which sucks the oxygen from the enclosed and sealed room and creates a partial vacuum inside

2. An electric fan chops up all the oxygen particles in the air leaving none to breathe.

3. The fan uses up the oxygen in the room and creates fatal levels of carbon dioxide.

4. That if the fan is put directly in front of the face of the sleeping person, it will suck all the air away, preventing one from breathing

5. That fans contribute to hypothermia, or abnormally low body temperature. Metabolism slows down at night, so you become more sensitive to temperature, and thus more prone to hypothermia. If the fan is left on all night in a sealed and enclosed room, believers in fan death suppose that it will lower the temperature of the room to the point that it can cause hypothermia."

This isn’t just some internet BS that is circulated around either, even a government funded agency has issued a statement on the topic…

“The Korea Consumer Protection Board (KCPB), a South Korean government-funded public agency, issued a consumer safety alert in 2006 warning that "asphyxiation from electric fans and air conditioners" was among South Korea's five most common seasonal summer accidents or injuries, according to data they collected. Also included among the five hazards were air conditioner explosions and sanitation issues, including food poisoning and opportunistic pathogens harbored in air conditioners. The KCPB published the following:

If bodies are exposed to electric fans or air conditioners for too long, it causes [the] bodies to lose water and [causes] hypothermia. If directly in contact with [air current from] a fan, this could lead to death from [an] increase of carbon dioxide saturation concentration [sic] and decrease of oxygen concentration. The risks are higher for the elderly and patients with respiratory problems. From 2003 [to] 2005, a total of 20 cases were reported through the CISS involving asphyxiations caused by leaving electric fans and air conditioners on while sleeping. To prevent asphyxiation, timers should be set, wind direction should be rotated and doors should be left open.

So yeah, leave a fan on for two hours, and YOU MIGHT DIE. Most fans, such as my own, have a timer on them which prevents you from keeping the fan running for more than 2 hours.

Here’s a news report about a fan death happening, you won’t be able to understand the Korean, but the pictures say it all. (no bodies or anything shown, only a 30 second clip which has pictures mostly of fans)

This is one of the most ridiculous and unbelievable things I’ve ever heard, somewhere between Obama being a muslim who wasn’t born in the United States, and the people in Alabama who claimed they saw a Leprechaun.

Don't be mistaken, not every Korean believes this is true. However, a friend here has confirmed that he knows Koreans who believe this. One of his coworkers and one of his friends. I haven’t asked my coworkers or any Korean people I know what they think. I’m worried they’ll tell me they believe it and I won’t be able to speak to them anymore. Some things are better left unknown...

1. It is completely normal for students to call their teacher "(first name) Teacher." Not Mr. Gwynne, or anything else, just "Ben Teacher." I am a teacher, therefore they refer to me as one as a sign of respect for authority. They call the Korean teachers "Native Teacher." Furthermore, even my coworkers call the Principal…."Principal" and the Vice Principal…"Vice Principal." This carries on at places even like the GYM, a place which is pretty informal and friendly. People call the guy who works at my gym "trainer."

2. Drinking is NOT permitted in 99% of bowling alleys in Korea. I always assumed bowling and drinking went hand in hand, but not here. Here, it’s a "family atmosphere" so no drinking allowed. Some places have separate rooms that have vending machines with beer, but you can’t bring the beer down to the bowling alley. One place just opened up a few months ago that has a huge bar and is a traditional bowling alley like they have back in the US, however the place is a mob scene at night now. I hope they open more…

3. The word "perm" can be used as a verb in Korea. "I was late for class because I was perming my hair."

4. Bare feet are "offensive" to some elderly people. For this reason, most people wear socks with sandals if they are walking around with them outside. If you were to go to a restaurant with sockless sandals, you would be disgracing the place to no end (yourself as well).

5. After meals when using a toothpick in Korea, the correct method is to use one hand to cover your mouth, and the other one has the toothpick in it.

6. Usually, one person (customarily it’s the oldest) pays for drinks/dinner when you go out with your coworkers. Splitting the bill doesn’t happen much. I went out with my coworkers for drinks one night, we drank a lot and ordered some food, the Vice Principal footed the bill even though he didn’t drink and barely ate. No one flinched when the bill came, he paid for it as they expected him too.

6a) Another time at a bar, the head teacher (the oldest person with us this time) tried paying for the bill even though I was burying beer after beer. I hopped in paid half since I make more than them and was being a "tank" as they called me. It was outrageous to me that she was trying to pay for it even though half the bill was mine.

7. There are 4 seasons in Korea, and they pride themselves on it. All the students know it and write about it quite frequently. To be fair there is a real spring, summer, fall, and winter, unlike in NY and other places where sometimes an entire season gets skipped over.

8. There is no daylight savings time in Korea.

9. Things can be purchased and ordered without using a credit card. It’s quite common that places over the phone will place your offer and just expect you to wire them the money. What a sense of honor.

10. At many restaurants, the bill is placed on your menu right after you order. If you ask for something else, they just write it onto the bill. You also pay for the bill by bringing the receipt to the front of the restaurant, you don’t pay the waiter and wait for change. It's great, no waiting.

Part 1