I Live In Korea

Fire Cupping is an ancient for of medicine which originated over 5,000 years ago. The procedure is as follows…

1. Loosen muscles around the back/shoulders by giving a ‘massage’
2. Place glass cup, with the opening on the back, against the skin
3. Attach a suction pump to the nozzle which is on the bottom of the glass
4. Pump until air is sucked out of the cup. This acts like a vacuum, now a lot of air has been released. This is what causes the ‘discoloration.’
5. Remove cups

As you can see that despite the name, there’s no fire involved, but that’s only because of modern technology. Back in the day, from 3,000 B.C.-2000 A.D., the air would be removed from the cups by applying heat from fire.

People believe(d) this can cure illnesses (ranging from minor to major) and is a way to relax, even invigorate your body. I found this to be extremely painful, both the massage part and applying the cups. If the person doing this to me was deaf I would’ve been moaning louder than I was last weekend when I had food poisoning. The only pleasure I felt was when it was over. What a crock of BS, this does nothing at all.

Food ended up being a pretty big part of the trip…



Din Tai Fung is home to the best dumplings I’ve ever eaten in my life. Hands down. I was in heaven at this place and the only communication problem I encountered on the entire trip was telling them I did want 20 dumplings, 8 wontons and soup. There is always a line outside of this place and for just cause. Aside from going up Taipei 101, I’m going to have to say this is the next on the list of things you must do if you ever go to Taipei.


What else did I do besides eat from toilet bowls, nearly vomit from overeating dumplings, get tortured and drink snake bile? Well, there was going to Taipei 101 which is the 2nd tallest building in the world (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), going to the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial Hall (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), the Longshan Temple (no pictures available due to it raining everyday), and Daan Park (no pictures available due to it raining everyday). The weather was horrific. I couldn’t go to the zoo, the National Palace Museum was closed both times I tried to go to it, I was forced to watch a movie (Wolfman was more painful than fire cupping), and rain cut down on the number of fireworks (it was the Chinese New Year). I was most certainly being punished with bad weather by Confucius for reasons I cannot get into.

Going to the top of Taipei 101 was pretty cool because the elevator is the fastest in the world. It goes 60km/hour (37.4 MPH for those who live in America, Burma and Liberia and don’t use the metric system). That means it travels to the top (1,671 feet) in 35 seconds, that’s 55 feet per SECOND. Intense.


I also managed to find a GREAT tea shop and an outdoor thermal hot-spring which was very relaxing even though the weather sucked. As if I didn’t stand out enough being the only non-Taiwanese person there, I got whistled by a 75 year old ‘lifeguard’ for doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. I suck.


Aside from the Taipei 101 elevator, food and the hot spring, the trip was a pretty big failure. Still, I’m glad I went, now there’s only 180 more countries to visit.

In the United States, Valentine’s Day is mainly a day catered to females. Men are responsible for planning dates, getting flowers, getting the right gift, etc. A botched Valentine’s Day for someone in a relationship or trying to get into one can cause everything to fall apart. For single people, it’s a time to reminisce about past loves, mope about being single, or go out to singles themed nights at bars.

In Korea, Valentine’s Day is ‘celebrated’ completely differently; it’s all but a meaningless holiday. The attitude towards it seems on par with the attitude people have towards Pancake Day in America, they might know it’s there, but most do nothing about it. (God I love Pancake Day)

Dinner reservations aren’t difficult to get. Kids don’t cut out hearts at school and give them to people. Stores aren’t overrun with boxes of chocolate or cards, and you sure as hell won’t find those heart shaped pieces of sugar which say cheesy phrases on them. Pretty lame.

So, you might be wondering, ‘what about flowers?’ Ahh yes, the obligatory item on Valentine’s Day. Well, if one were so inclined, they could get 3 dozen roses for just over $45. Cheap! However, the only problem you’d have in actually getting the flowers is that since the school semester ends around this time, a lot of flowers are being ordered for the kids so they might be short on supply. I’m not kidding, this is the reasoning one would be given if they were so inclined to order flowers, weird, but if one of your students parents owns a flower shop they might help you out.

The ‘protocol’ on Valentine’s Day here is as follows: Women give chocolate to a man they like. The always trustworthy Wikipedia has informed me that women give two types of chocolate out: Type one, a cheap store bought kind which is given as a courtesy goes to all the men in their life. Type two is fancier or sometimes even ‘homemade chocolate’ (I call BS on that Wikipedia) which is given to the men they are interested in. That’s it.

So what about the men? What do the men do? Well, one month later, on March 14th, is ‘White Day,’ where it’s the guys turn to give chocolate back to the women who gave it to them. Honestly this sounds like more bologna. A month goes by and you’re giving a piece of damn chocolate back to the girl? Even Footloose seems less prude than this.

What if you’re a sad mess who got nothing? Well, luckily Korea has a day for you too! Actually, they have a made up holiday every month for couples and have attached meaningless significance (incredible oxymoron right there) to each:

- April 14th – Black Day, where all the losers who got no love on Valentine’s Day dress in black to wallow in their self pity and enjoy each others’ miserable company.

- May 14th – Rose Day, couples are supposed to give each other roses.

- June 14th – Kiss Day, couples kiss each other to confirm there love. All kisses on other days throughout the year are hereby insignificant?

- July 14th – Silver Day, couples exchange silver jewelry, usually rings, to confirm their love

- August 14th – Green Day, a mockery of the debauchery which occurs on St. Patrick’s Day. Couples wear green. Lot’s of Soju is sold today because it comes in green bottles. No Irish people are around disgracing themselves. Very sad.

- September 14th – Photo/Music Day, couples give each other CDs to confirm their love. They also take pictures with each other and go out to the Noraebang’s (singing/karaoke rooms). What bull, Koreans do this every weekend.

- October 14th - Wine Day, couples drink wine together.

- November 14th – Movie Day, couples see a movie together. Is this getting repetitive?

- December 14th – Hug Day, couples hug each other then break up. Actually they just hug each other to express their love and show that they are providing warmth to each other as the cold winter approaches.

- January 14th – Diary Day, couples give each other diary’s so they can write about all the boring holiday experiences they have in the year ahead.

These are all unofficial holidays that are designed to increase consumerism. As if that wasn’t enough, there’s also Pepero Day on November 11th which I've talked about before.

You water down something enough and the significance is lost. I reckon the amount of money spent on Valentine’s Day in America blows away the amount of money Korean consumers spend on these holidays. No contest.

So yeah, Valentine’s Day is totally lame here. No money is wasted on unnecessary gifts, no grief for the lonely and heartbroken, no jealousy, no fights about not going to great lengths to make the day special, etc. Come to think of it…it’s excellent. Good job Korea.