I Live In Korea

Some schools in Korea still engage in the age old practice of beating students for backtalk, not doing their homework, or whatever reason they feel is in order to "straighten a kid out." I’ve heard stories about kids getting hit with bamboo sticks, something that happened in Catholic schools in the U.S. probably 30+ years ago, which still goes on here in some cases.

My school has a fantastic reputation and our principal and vice-principal are very kind people so something like that would NEVER happen here. However, some of the Korean teachers do “punish” the students who don’t do their homework this way…

(EDIT - the video was removed due to a massive amount of negative comments on Youtube. The video showed kids doing squat thrusts outside of class, a very minor 'punishment' given by one of the teachers in my school.)

Other teachers make you do this…


Neither is bad at all, I think both are pretty funny. The kids don’t complain (they laugh actually as you can see from the picture which I blurred for obvious reasons) and the parents know it comes with the territory. Not only that, I bet the parents are harsh on the kids for not doing their work. I know that for certain because in some of the journals I’ve read the kids talk about being hit hard as punishment for various reasons.

Regarding the squat thrusts, this would NEVER fly in the U.S., not because the schools wouldn’t allow it, but because if no one was watching the kids outside wouldn’t do anything. I know I wouldn’t! I’d just stay in a half-squat pose incase someone came outside, then I would pretend like I was doing them all along. But, that’s the difference between Americans and people from Asia who believe in Confucian principles.

Here’s a link (I’m not embedding the video here because my blog is wholesome and for the family) to a video I found of a kid getting beaten from a teacher pretty hard. Remember, this is NOT at my school and NOT in my city either even though the name looks similar. Turn up your volume if you don't mind watching a kid get hit and screaming.

So yeah, again, I think what "happens" at my school isn't bad, and who knows, maybe the squat thrusts and practice of holding the bag over your head is the answer to why people here are thinner in Korea than they are in America. I wonder…

And for those of you who think that the punishment, even at my school, is cruel and immoral, let me just say that for a variety of reasons the students here work A LOT harder than they do in the U.S. Not doing your homework here is somewhat rare.

PLEASE NOTE - I am NOT allowed to make the kids do squat thrusts or hold a bag over their head (I don't think so at least), only the Korean teachers can. I would have A LOT of fun if I could. The only thing I'm allowed to do is make a kid stand outside class or stand in the corner looking at the wall, something that gives them so much shame that they would rather do 1,000 squat thrusts.

Pretty damn cheap, keep reading…

“What do they drink in Korea?” was a common question I was asked from people when I told them I was moving here. Well, they drink beer, liquor and wine, the same things people in every other country drink. I guess a better question would have been “does Korea have a drink which is native to them?” The answer to that is yes, Soju.

To get a quick explanation of Soju, click below, otherwise read ahead.



A typical beer has 5% alcohol in it, the typical brand of Soju you get from the supermarket has 20% alcohol in it. So that means by unit Soju is 4x strong as alcohol, meaning four 12 ounce cans of beer is equal to one 12 ounce bottle of Soju.

However, this bottle…
Is 60 ounces, therefore it has the same amount of liquid as five beers.

If four beers equals one 12 ounce bottle of Soju, then it would take twenty beers to consume the same amount of alcohol as the 60 ounce bottle of Soju. Yes, drinking this bottle is like having twenty beers. How much does it cost? $3.50.

The equivalent of twenty beers for $3.50? Not bad at all. I guess that explains why I see a lot of this here...

One of the first images of Korea I remember upon landing was some guy vomiting profusely outside of a bar near my house. I've seen at least 10 people puking on the street since I've been here, that's an average of more than one per week. It's a normal occurrence and I guess it's thanks to Soju.

About 99.9% of the Korean students who study English have Korean names and English names (the only one who doesn’t at my school happens to be my favorite student and a faint reminder of myself). The second name is only used in their English class, and it’s to make it easier on the English teachers when speaking to the students, makes sense. Sometimes we get to give them names, sometimes the Korean teachers do and sometimes the kids give themselves the name, it's all chance (one that I haven't had yet!!!).

The names they get, their origins and what they morph into over time can be quite funny. Here are some students I have and the story about how they got their names…

Mario – he was named after Super Mario from the famous video game the Super Mario Brothers.

Luisi – Similar but not related, Luisi was originally named Luigi after Mario from the Super Mario Brothers. However, after a while the ‘g’ and ‘s’ kept getting written incorrectly by the Korean teacher, and his name turned into Luisi. Hysterical.

Primo – I have no idea how he got this name. He’s new and I didn’t name him nor did my coworker so that means he came into the school with the name. Pretty cool though.

Hestia – In Greek Mythology, Hestia is the goddess of Hearth. I have no idea who gave the girl this name, but she obviously did not give it to herself. If a female teacher gave it to her years ago, it might be my soul mate considering I want to name a kid Agamemnon.

Violess – This MUST have been Violet at one point, and it got ‘Luisi’d’

Potter – Obviously, he has a brother named Harry, the teacher who I replaced named him AND his brother. I'm pretty jealous and pray I get the chance to do that.

Julian – This is only funny to me because it’s a girl who has this name. I’m sure it used to be Julieanne, but whatever.

Not at my school, but at someone else’s there’s a kid named Mega Man and Hulk, I’m not kidding.

The kids in my school don't progress from class to class based on their year there, they move up and down depending on how well they are improving so sometimes you run into a situation where there’s two kids with the same name in the same class. I have a class with two kids with the same name and one of them is Peter 1 and the other is Peter 2, I’m not kidding, I actually refer to them this way. Sometimes though, the Korean teachers give them a new name on the fly so there is no confusion, and that’s when someone gets named this gem…

On September 6th I went on a bike ride along the Han River and went by a park that was under construction. Here's what it looked like on that day…



Now here’s what it looked like one month later on October 12th…









There’s no question this couldn’t happen in NYC (or anywhere in the US for that matter). There would be too many labor disputes, people complaining, cost overrun, construction mishaps, etc. Here, construction jobs get done with extreme efficiency because of the difference in ethics and values.

And don't be mistaken, although there's a lot of concrete the surrounding is grass. This is a very nice park that was packed with people and I'm sure I'll be passing by it on some bike rides next summer.

Overall the infrastructure in Seoul is far superior to ours. The airports, trains, highways, modern architecture, etc. blows ours away. Not sure why it can’t be like that back home…

For those who are more interested, here's a video of a quick walk through I did of a really nice playground. I'm sure back home people would have thought I was a creep for walking around filming something in a public place with little kids, but here it's no big deal.



This park was really fun, the stationary bike machines told you how much power you were exerting and it was so clean you could eat off all the equipment there as well. Again, why can't it be like that back home?

By no means do I consider myself a big man, I'm 6 feet on a good day and probably a buck fifty when I step on a scale, so it's a little strange that someone like me is a little out of luck when shopping for clothes in Korea.

Here are some examples of the sizes of items in Korea and in one instance how they compare to items in America.....

XXL Sweatpants (Yes, extra extra large)




American medium vs. Korean medium




The biggest sandals I found at the store.....



Losing weight isn't even an option for most people, I can't make my limbs shorter. There are American clothing stores here if I was interested in picking items up from Nike or the Gap which are about 25% more expensive here than they are at home. Everything here is cheaper, even if it's imported from overseas, except for American clothing brands. Weird.

Either way, I'll have to get used to buying bigger sizes than I'm used to, or just being a tight warrior.

The following are journal entries from my kids that I have to read. When you combine the curiosity of the youth and translating those thoughts into another language you get great results...

On Love

*** “I have a girlfriend, we met 75 days. Now we are broke because she said ‘we meet very long days ago, we’re broke.’ I thought ‘why she broke we?’ So it is a question all day, WHY WHY WHY! Ben teacher do you have a girlfriend, if teacher has a girlfriend please write in teacher’s comments.”
*** “I think having a girlfriend is great because you can know about the girl. But these days, it’s not good. Because we’re not good in love. Love is go wrong. Youth won’t allow have sexual, but some have sexual. It’s not good if girl is pregnancy. We must study hard then you can have a good job and you’ll a success.”
*** “I love my boyfriend, and he thinks the same. But if love the love is not true I no want their company, I want real love”

On Things That Are Important To Them….

*** “My family is important to me because if I don’t have them I will be dead”
*** “I love my friends because I have my best friend. If I don’t have a best friend I will be very angry and then be a bully.”
*** “I love my family and my boyfriend, he is kind to me and I love my boyrfriend”
*** “I love my future children because my parents care of me and I will care of them”

On UFO’s…

*** “UFO is strange. UFO can fly. UFO is fast. UFO is nice. UFO can shot laser. ET’s friends ride UFO. If UFO attack our people die.”
*** “I don’t believe to UFO because it is mistery. I think, our future is a big war and big fight. There is earth people and UFO people. So our soldiers some kill and die and UFO monsters some kill and some die. Our earth is a downfall.
*** “UFO’s, it’s mysterious. I want to take UFO’s. I think why we don’t see UFO’s? Why I don’t see it. I want see it. How is it? I want meet aliens. Aliens are my friends. They’re very cute. Aliens live in UFO but I live in my house.”
*** “I believe UFO’s real. Some people have opinions UFO’s are real. They saw UFO’s. I envy them. I like mystery so I want see a UFO and play with UFO. Maybe the UFO kill me. However, I think they don’t kill me. Maybe they don’t kill me, I think that. UFO’s are kind they didn’t give damage. I love UFO’s!”

Saddest Moments of My Life…

*** “When I go to Jung Chul School because I think it is a prison”

The kid who said this is my favorite student. Every Korean teacher hates him but I love him and see a lot of promise. I feel like George Costanza in the Seinfeld episode with the Van Buren Boys. This kid, Jong Sook, is Steven, the BS artist that wanted to be an architect which George Costanza picked for the first scholarship recipient for his deceased wife’s foundation. ANYWAY…

Finally, here’s a video of my kids the other day in the teachers lounge. I play “Ben Teacher Says” (Simon Says ripoff), and for some reason they were going crazy that day saying “Ben Teacher Says” and make gestures of shooting arrows to kill other students. I love how the students flee like cockroaches with the lights on when the Korean teacher comes into the lounge.




In no way, shape, or form am I making fun of the kids English, I sure as hell didn’t know any foreign languages when I was 11 or 12 years old, I’m simply pointing out funny things I’ve read from them, that’s all.

Had to add some style to my room.



Many more videos to come. Just getting started with this thing.......

Sorry for the delay, I’ll start updating my blog 2-3 times a week soon. Still figuring out this movie editing program. Anyway…

Growing up in Rockaway, it’s a given that I love the beach, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until this summer. Just about every weekend was spent enjoying the ocean, playing volleyball, and having the occasional cocktail or two. It was what every summer weekend should be.

I was interested to see what the beaches would be like in Korea, so I headed to Busan (2^nd biggest city here) to visit a friend of a friend. I don’t know why, but I was surprised to see such a beautiful and clean beach, just a few steps from a major downtown area of the city with crystal clear water to boot.

It was the best of both worlds and I was in heaven considering it was 75 degrees on the first weekend of October and I was playing volleyball on the beach and having a few drinks (you’re allowed to drink on the beach here).

The locals really enjoyed watching us play volleyball for some reason, they were taking pictures and gathered around the entire time we were playing.

If you look close, you can even see land in the distance, which is actually an island belonging to Japan. I wonder if Busan politicians making Palin’ish claims of having foreign policy experience because they can see it.

Moving on….

The beach was spectacular during the day and it was beautiful at night as well.

We were going to stay and have a beach party/bonfire ala Karate Kid, but we decided to go out and have fun. What would a weekend road trip be without some debauchery?

Busan was fantastic, I know where I’ll be returning to quite often next summer.